


Show me the Stars and I will show you the Moon

by IetjeSiobhan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Tsukishima Kei, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mating Bites, Mutual Pining, Omega Yamaguchi Tadashi, Scents & Smells, Yearning, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:28:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IetjeSiobhan/pseuds/IetjeSiobhan
Summary: For the first time in his life, he is given the choice to court Tadashi, and he cannot take it. Because if Kei were to become another one of Tadashi’s suitors, Tadashi would feel obligated to choose him simply for the life Kei could offer him. Tadashi would not choose Kei for Kei.Or: the one in which Kei is a prince, Tadashi is the kitchen boy, and Tadashi presenting as an omega could change everything for them, if Kei would only let it.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 118
Kudos: 408





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TsukishimaTadashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsukishimaTadashi/gifts).



> This is a fic I wrote for the lovely Kuni, based on his idea https://twitter.com/pinchservprince/status/1325874072165691399?s=20  
> I made some little changes, but this is still based on his concept, and a HUGE thank you to Kuni for letting me write this :D I had so much fun :D I hope you'll like it <3
> 
> **Little warning** : There will be talk of mpreg and claiming in this story, so if that is not your thing, then here's your chance to back out. :)
> 
> I'll probably update regularly, every Wednesday - I've got the fic basically done, I just need to finish up the last chapter and do a little more editing, so don't worry, this thing will not get stuck as an unfinished work. :D
> 
> I did not have a beta for this and am not a native speaker, so I apologise in advance for any small mistakes you may find - I'll definitely end up going over this fic again later on, trying to catch more typos out I missed this time, but for now I've proof-read it and hope I caught the majority of them.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not financially profit from this work. The characters do not belong to me, I merely borrowed them.

Kei has hated being a prince for as long as he can remember, while also enjoying some of the aspects of being part of the royal family. He hates that he is expected to help rule the kingdom, how much responsibility rests on his shoulders. That he could even, one day, be made king, if something were to happen to Akiteru and he did not produce an heir in time. This, Kei does not like to think about. For all that he likes to complain about him, he loves his older brother dearly.

He does not like that he is expected to know how to fight, and to ride into battle to protect the kingdom, should the day come that they become involved in another war. He sincerely hopes the day never comes.

He does, however, enjoy the liberties his status brings him, few as they are: the access to the castle library, the opportunity to stay out of the public for the most part, instead utilizing the insides of the castle. That he is not expected to talk to most people, and his snarky remarks are met with little resistance.

That nobody but the King, Queen and his teachers get to reprimand him.

That even if someone were to say something about his unlikely friendship with Tadashi, the kitchen boy, they would be in no place to actually forbid him to see him. His parents could, but his mother has always been too soft for her own good, and his father has more important things to dwell on by far than Kei’s one and only friendship, as unseemly as it may be.

This friendship that was born out of nothing but Tadashi’s gratefulness at first. This friendship that Kei still feels is undeserved, for he has not always treated Tadashi well.

They met when they were both still children – Tadashi and Kei both merely seven years old. Tadashi was not yet a kitchen boy, back then, at least not the way he is today – he helped out from time to time, but it was born more out of a feeling of obligation that actual requirement, since his father works in the castle kitchens. His mother works in the castle washery.

Tadashi used to spend a lot of time exploring the castle, and on one such occasion, they met – Tadashi had entered a part of the castle he was not permitted to enter, and had been getting a hefty reprimand by one of the guards stationed in said part of the castle.

Kei had sauntered in, and, in his most disgruntled tone, asked them to keep it down – the library hadn’t been far, and their voices had carried and it had, frankly, been more than a little distracting and annoying. The guard had sputtered and shut up and let Tadashi go, mostly out of sheer mortification to have upset the youngest son of the king, and Tadashi had taken this opportunity to follow Kei and thank him profusely for several minutes.

Kei had been snarky to Tadashi, back then, and his snarkiness had continued for a good few years – Tadashi always at his heels, having decided that making friends with a prince who voiced disdain for his loudness seemed a sensible option, somehow. With time, Kei had gotten nicer to Tadashi; mainly, because Tadashi kept showing up less and working more as he got older, although she still showed up a considerable amount, and Kei had found that he actually missed having him around, had learned, somehow, in the past years, to enjoy the constant distraction that Tadashi provided.

And so, their unlikely friendship had formed. The only friendship that Kei has ever formed.

He does not like the other nobles’ children; especially Tobio of the Kageyama family, trusted advisors to the King, is a nuisance he would much rather do without. And so he avoids them, and in turn only ever finds himself spending time with Akiteru and Tadashi out of his own accord.

Tadashi, who will soon turn eighteen, and present.

It is something Kei is more than wary of. Presenting will mean it will be time for Tadashi to start courting, start a family of his own – effectively cutting short the time they spend together, maybe ending their friendship altogether.

(Whatever the outcome concerning their friendship, it will mean that Tadashi is going to mate with someone – someone who is not Kei.)

It is one point of the growing list of Kei’s worries, the biggest one.

Another current point of worry is that he, himself, has presented a short time ago: as an Alpha, much to his parents’ delight. And his mother, always looking to meddle, is already looking to procure a good match for him. An Omega, as rare as they are, of high birth, preferably.

He is not looking forward to it.

\--

“Tsukki!” Tadashi calls, running towards him.

Kei, who is in the process of reading a book, sighs a little and closes it. Not that he actually minds all that much; spending time with Tadashi is always a delight. Tadashi, who has the gall to refer to him so informally; he is the only person outside of his family who would ever dare to give Kei a nickname.

The nickname has mostly been born out of Tadashi not being of a high enough rank to comfortably refer to Kei by first name. If he, a lowly kitchen boy, would have dared to call the prince by his given name, it would have been a great offense to the monarchy itself, and so he did not. Instead, he started calling Kei ‘Tsukki’, after he had complained for months that calling him ‘Tsukishima’ felt terribly distant.

Kei does not mind. In fact, he welcomes it. He has never been one for the strict adherence to rules; finds most of them too limited and rigid. Still: if anyone else were to refer to him by nickname, he would not react this gracefully – he does not like people thinking that they have a personal connection to him, are close to him in any way.

Tadashi, though.

Tadashi has always been the exception to every one of Kei’s rules.

“Yamaguchi,” Kei says, inclining his head in a slight nod. He does not call Tadashi by his given name: had been adamant to not show familiarity with a kitchen boy, at first, and then, later, felt uncomfortable simply changing the way he addresses him. It felt like admitting defeat, or showing weakness.

He wants to call Tadashi by his given name: wants to do it so badly he aches with it, on some days. But it has been years, and there is no way he can justify a sudden change of name _now_ , if he had not found a comfortable justification back when they were still _children_.

“I brought you something,” Tadashi says, smiling at Kei, the sweet smile of his that always makes Kei feel week in the knees. He looks akin to the sun when smiling like this: bright and warm, and everything Kei can never have.

Kei looks at Tadashi’s hand and finds him holding a little basket, probably with baked goods from the kitchens. He forgets his royal dignity for a moment, as he is wont to do around Tadashi, particularly when he brings baked goods; Kei sits up straighter, eyeing the basket with un-concealed interest, holding out a hand. He knows he looks over-eager and yet, he cannot bring himself to stop this behaviour. Tadashi knows him, better than anyone else does, probably. This means he knows Kei’s tastes. Whenever he sneaks out something from the kitchens, it is something good, something exactly befitting said tastes.

“Here,” Tadashi laughs and hands him the basket. Kei takes it eagerly, looking into it, and sure enough: on a few napkins sits one perfect slice of strawberry shortcake, his favourite.

“Yamaguchi,” he says, clear affection bleeding through his voice. He does not try to hold it in; it is Tadashi’s for the taking, as is Kei’s heart. The latter, though, Tadashi can never find out about, and so this is all Kei is willing to give: affection in his voice, only ever let out when he can mask it with his love for confectionery.

“Try it!” Tadashi says, rocking on the heels of his feet, looking at Kei with unrestrained excitement. Sometimes Kei thinks Tadashi gets just as much joy out of seeing Kei eat baked goods as Kei gets out of eating them, and maybe this is why he has such a sweet tooth: the thrill of having Tadashi’s eyes on him almost heavier than the thrill of eating something delicious.

He puts his book all the way to the side before gingerly taking the cake out. Tadashi hands him a fork, and Kei takes a piece of cake onto his fork, slowly letting it slide into his mouth.

As soon as the cake hits his tongue, he has to try hard to hold a sigh back. It is glorious, baked to perfection, exactly how he likes it. This may be the best one yet to have come out of the castle kitchens, and Kei has to close his eyes to savour it accordingly.

He tells Tadashi so, after he is done eating: “This one was excellent. My favourite so far.”

Predictably, Tadashi lights up. He always does when Kei gives out honest compliments, for he does not do it often, keeping the majority of his positive thoughts well within. Everything you offer can be used against you; as a prince, this is a lesson he learned early on in his life.

He will let Tadashi see earnest emotions from time to time, though. It is an honour he does not bestow upon anyone else outside his family, and even his family only gets to witness them sparsely.

Here, as in everything else, Tadashi is his exception. Sometimes Kei wonders if he knows this. He does not ask. (He is near to certain Tadashi does.)

“I baked it myself!” Tadashi tells Kei now, unrestrained joy shining in his eyes, and he looks so brilliant, so ethereal, that Kei has to avert his eyes for a few seconds.

“It is good,” he tells Tadashi, earnestly, and looks at him again, just to see him lightening up some more, as if this compliment, this simple one, after Kei already told him that it has been the best strawberry cake to date, means all that much more, now that it is directly addressed to him. Kei does not always understand Tadashi, but he understands the warmth spreading inside of himself, understands that he himself would do almost anything to please Tadashi.

Would do almost anything, and yet sparsely does anything at all.

Strangely enough, the little he does seems to be enough for Tadashi, always.

“So, Tsukki, do you have anything planned for the rest of the day?” Tadashi asks, still glowing.

Kei does. Of course he does: he is a prince, second heir to the throne. His days are always filled to the brim with activities, be they necessary or not. Tadashi knows this.

“No,” he answers. Tadashi also knows he will give him the same answer, every time without fail.

It is because of the way Tadashi beams at him now, eyes crinkled and happy, and the warmth of his hand as he wraps it around Kei’s wrist to tug him away from his corner, not thinking about the sheer indecency of such an act.

Kei lets himself be tugged and savours the feeling of Tadashi’s fingers around his wrist, even more so than he did the cake.

\--

The days go by without much fanfare.

Kei does not think they should; thinks the moment that his entire life is going to change looming nearer deserves more dramatics.

But there are no dramatics, and things remain the same. Tadashi still distracts him from his studies and feeds him with whatever he can sneak out of the kitchen, sometimes things he baked or cooked himself.

He is a good baker, and sometimes Kei thinks about a different life: one in which he is a mere citizen, one who is allowed to marry a commoner. One in which he can come home to Tadashi’s food on the table, raise children with Tadashi. Not that he deserves a life at Tadashi’s side.

He still feels unworthy of their friendship, as it is.

With every passing day, Kei’s nerves get stronger. Tadashi’s eighteenth birthday will change everything for them, and yet so little. Because this, it was set in stone right from the very beginning: one day they would grow up, and Tadashi would marry someone else, someone who is probably part of the castle staff, and Kei would have to watch him, and by the time he himself would be married to someone else, someone high-ranking, from a family that offers a political advantage, Tadashi would probably have forgotten all about him, the reserved, snarky prince who never let him know how much he meant to him.

It is a terrifying reality, but it is _their_ reality.

\--

Tadashi seems to bake more, brings him more of his self-made pastries and cakes the closer they get to his birthday, and every time he offers Kei another perfect slice of strawberry shortcake, something in him breaks.

This feels like a goodbye.

Kei does not want to say goodbye.

\--

The morning of Tadashi’s eighteenth birthday is a gloomy, misty one, fog encasing the castle grounds, the sky dark, heavy clouds hanging in it, darker than the sky even.

Kei looks out of the window of his bedchamber and sighs. He should call for a servant, to get his breakfast delivered; he dresses himself, unwilling to let another fasten clothes on him, and so this is the work his personal servants are most accustomed to in the morning: bringing Kei his breakfast, reminding him of the plans laid out for him on any given day.

He does not feel like eating or doing much at all on this day. He would like to go see Tadashi, wish him a happy birthday; it is their tradition, one Tadashi started when he sneaked into Kei’s room for his tenth birthday, surprising him with a birthday cake he had baked himself.

It was a strawberry shortcake, albeit a somewhat miserable one, simply because Tadashi remembered how much Kei likes strawberries. To this day, Kei is not sure how Tadashi managed to bake it, seeing as his birthday is far out of strawberry season.

(Kei is unwilling to admit that this was the day strawberry shortcakes became his favourite, but that is the truth.)

Kei has never once sneaked into Tadashi’s chamber – a small one he shares with his mother and father. He has, however, waited for Tadashi in front of it on many a morning to surprise Tadashi with a little birthday gift. It is the one day of the year he allows himself to be unequivocally nice to Tadashi, to forget about the path his life has laid out for him the very moment of his birth, even if it is just for a while.

Nevertheless, even awaiting Tadashi in front of his chambers is out of the question, today. For it is Tadashi’s eighteenth birthday, and he will start presenting today.

Kei wonders, briefly, if the castle has allocated him a presenting chamber for the time being, or if Tadashi’s parents are simply staying somewhere else for a few days. He pushes the thought away; it is of no importance. Tadashi presenting is of no importance, either; it should not matter to Kei, no matter how much he wishes it was allowed to matter to him.

It is a sobering reality. But it is reality.

Kei stares out of the window some more, and sighs. He could stay inside all day and wallow in his own frustration, offering himself up for his teachers and servants to come find him.

Or he could, for once, leave the castle.

He looks at the fog outside – it is indeed a fitting background for a lonely ride out over the castle grounds, the weather a parallel to Kei’s own misery.

He sighs again, and then turns to get dressed.

He has not sat on horseback in quite a while. He deems to change that, now.

\--

Warrior, his gelding, whinnies happily when he sees Kei enter the stables. Warrior is a proud black gelding, standing at one hundred eighty-two centimetres height at the withers. His coat is a non-fading black, and he has no markings. He is a nice contrast to Kei’s lighter hair.

Warrior is six years old; he is a present given to Kei when he was just a foal. Kei did not choose the name nor the horse: his family wanted him to have a good, strong stallion, one he could write into battle with.

Kei did not want to ride into battle on a proud stallion; in fact, he did not want a stallion at all, so he had Warrior castrated.

Warrior’s temper is much more agreeable as a gelding, and Kei has learned to like him like this, although his parents are still more than a little disappointed over that particular choice.

Kei saddles Warrior himself, much to the stable boy’s distress. It is no action fit for a prince, but Kei does not want to feel like a prince today.

Warrior himself is rearing to get out; he gets regular exercise, but he has not been properly ridden in a few weeks. Kei does not often find himself wanting to ride out – why would he, if Tadashi is restrained to his feet? – and nobody else is allowed to ride his horse. It is the prince’s horse, after all.

Riding over the castle grounds, him and Warrior nearly swallowed by the fog, actually helps Kei unwind. Warrior is a good companion: a quiet, friendly one, but one requesting enough attention that Kei cannot let his thoughts drift back to Tadashi.

It is still early in the morning, and this far out on the castle grounds, away from the bustling castle itself, it is quiet, the cold morning only permeated by a bird’s call every now and again.

Kei almost wishes Tadashi were here, with him, momentarily swallowed by his own need to gift Tadashi a horse, a friendly mare or gelding, just so he can accompany Kei out on rides, feel this atmosphere that Kei so loves.

Kei has never liked hunts, or riding out in a group just to show off one’s horse, one’s riding skills. But this, this quiet atmosphere, just him and Warrior: this is something he enjoys, tremendously so. He thinks Tadashi would, too.

It is not something he can let himself think about.

And so he pushes these thoughts away, and concentrates on Warrior and himself alone, on the fog enveloping them, the quietness laying itself over them like a blanket, the momentary bird calls a mindless background song to Kei’s misery.

\--

The next two days pass much the same, to his father’s dismay and mother’s distress. Kei sneaks out early in the morning, riding out on Warrior, and only returns late in the afternoon, forgoing dinner and supper altogether more often than not. On the third day, a small basket with goods from the kitchen awaits him next to Warrior’s horse stall. It has Tadashi’s mother’s signature all over it, in the way it is packaged, and Kei’s heart hurts.

He thinks she might know of his heartache; not of his feelings for Tadashi, but of his worries about the coming change. She is probably more aware of what this coming change will do to his and Tadashi’s friendship than Tadashi is, and so she aches with them.

Kei wishes, desperately and not for the first time, that things were different.

\--

On the evening of the third day, Akiteru awaits him when Kei returns to his bedchambers.

Akiteru is stood beside the windows, looking out of them, when Kei enters.

“Akiteru,” Kei says, not feeling prepared for the conversation that is about to take place at all.

“Mother has missed you,” Akiteru informs him, turning to him, and then, gentler: “I have missed you. Are you alright?”

It is a nonsensical question. He is not, and they both know it.

Kei does not deem to answer it.

“Kei,” Akiteru says, his voice still gentle. “I know this is hard for you.”

Kei snorts in a rather undignified manner. Because what would Akiteru know about the troubles of falling in love with one of the kitchen staff, a mere commoner? Akiteru has been engaged ever since he presented and then, just a short while later, married – to someone he actually seems to enjoy the company of quite a lot; he always lights up whenever she is around, and had voiced on several occasions that he couldn’t wait for the wedding to take place, before said wedding happened. Aiya is a nice, gentle woman with long, black hair and hazelnut eyes; their mother is excited for her to bear Akiteru’s children, and so is she.

She was the princess of a neighbouring kingdom before she became Akiteru’s wife. She is everything that Tadashi is not: a not only respectable, but advantageous choice.

Akiteru’s situation is so far removed from Kei that it hurts him to think about it.

“Kei,” Akiteru says again.

Kei looks at him, and for a second he wants to step into his brother’s arms and let himself be held. He knows Akiteru would do it. Akiteru is a gentle, loving person, and he cares about Kei, a lot.

Instead, he turns on his heels and leaves his chambers.

He does not have the patience nor the energy for this conversation, does not feel emotionally stable enough to share his thoughts and feelings, and certainly does not want to, for what would it bring him? Kei is the prince, and Tadashi is a kitchen boy, and even if Tadashi were to want more than their friendship, even if Kei deserved Tadashi even the smallest bit, they still would have no future. It is pointless to lament about, pointless to cry about.

Still, Kei feels like crying.

\--

The next morning, Kei steps out of his chambers and is met with the most delicious scent he has ever smelled in his entire life.

Kei has not been an alpha for long, and yet he should have met at least one person who appeals to his senses. Still, until now, it has never happened.

Now, Kei is standing in front of his chambers, and something inside of him is _burning_. And the very person in front of him, smiling, is none other than Tadashi: rosy-cheeked, with bright eyes, fresh out of his presenting heat. Tadashi, who is an omega, and not only an omega, but a _male_ omega: they are rare, even rarer than female omegas; so rare, in fact, that they’re only said to appear once or twice in every generation. They are held in incredibly high regards: not only are they rare, but they are also said to be the most fertile, more fertile than female omegas, even, and, once mated, a grounding presence on their alpha like no other could be.

Kei wants to _cry_. He also wants to stalk forwards, scent Tadashi, mark him, _claim_ him, right in this hallway.

He does none of the sort.

“Yamaguchi,” he says instead, and tries valiantly to act as if his heart isn’t breaking.

“Tsukki!” Tadashi says, his eyes shining brightly and beautifully, stepping close, unbearably so. Kei is in love, so in love with this beautiful boy in front of him, and every single one of his instincts is _screaming_ inside of him.

“I am so glad I finally presented, the last few days were a _pain_ ,” Tadashi babbles, clearly not caring that it is a highly inappropriate topic of conversation. Then again, when has Tadashi ever cared for propriety?

He is talking, fast-paced and excited and happy, saying ‘Tsukki’ softly and brightly all at the same time, and Kei sees people walking and staring, and is sure the news of this will have travelled all over the castle come evening.

The Yamaguchis’ son is an omega. He is a _male_ omega, the most prized of all.

He will have a free pick of who he wants to marry, if he so chooses, could marry into a noble household courtesy of his newfound status alone.

The thought does not comfort Kei.

He tries to keep his eyes and thoughts on Tadashi and his words alone. Tadashi, who seems to be closer to Kei, seeking out more proximity than he ever has before – and Tadashi has always been close.

Kei is sure it is merely a trick his mind is playing on him, it is his inner alpha desperately wanting it to be true, and yet he is _aching_.

\--

Come evening, the entire castle does indeed know about Tadashi’s status. The news have travelled fast, and even the King and Queen are aware of this development.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi presented as an omega,” says Kei’s mother at supper, and Kei nearly lets his spoon fall into his stew.

He says nothing; it does not seem like his mother was talking to him.

“Indeed,” his father replies. There is something thoughtful in his voice and eyes.

“The Yamaguchis have been loyal staff for several generations,” Kei’s mother says, and Kei is watching her with apt attention. He is not sure where this is going, is not sure he wants to know, and yet he cannot look away, stop listening. “I would think it only fair if we were to reward them for their service.”

Kei’s father hums.

“I was thinking about hosting a ball for the Yamaguchi boy, inviting the noble families, so he can choose a suitable mate,” Kei’s mother says.

Kei’s heart stops. His thoughts crash down, and he suddenly has to clamp down hard on his breathing; it feels like it wants to run away from him, and he does not know how to hold it back, how to hold his feelings in. At the back of his mind, there is his rationality telling him that these feelings are unbecoming for a young prince, but he cannot listen to it. Can, in fact, do nothing but listen to his parents, feeling like he might suffocate.

“A fine idea. Publicly rewarding loyal servants and engaging the nobility in an agreeable pastime; you do know how to keep them content,” the King says.

Kei wants to be someone wholly unbecoming of a prince, suddenly, wants to lash out: he has never truly felt the desire to lash out before, usually content with keeping his emotions to himself. Right now, it feels like everything in his life has turned upside down.

His mother smiles at his father, and Kei feels sick to his stomach.

He stands up, excusing himself swiftly, and just leaves – can feel his family’s and the servants’ eyes on him as he exits the royal family’s private dining room, leaving people in expensive clothing eating expensive dishes in an expensively outfitted room, in gold and diamonds and marble, behind him.

It is what he was born into, and strangely, it is offering him a way out: because he comes from riches, from high birth, and should he wish to so, nobody could blame the alpha prince for wanting to take such a rare mate as a male omega.

But now, it feels wrong: everything he could have wanted offering itself to him on a silver platter, and he wants nothing more than to shatter it. He does not want to court Tadashi as a politically agreeable choice, does not want him to agree to becoming Kei’s omega based on their social standing alone, does not want Tadashi giving himself over as a _possession_ for Kei.

He wishes them to be equal. For the first time in his life, he is given the choice to court Tadashi, and he cannot take it. Because out of all the nobility, Kei is the highest stepping stone, is the most advantageous match, and if he were to become just another one of Tadashi’s suitors, Tadashi would feel obligated to choose him simply for the life Kei could offer him. Tadashi would not choose Kei for Kei, and as much as Kei wants to take, to claim, to _possess_ , in a way that is innately _alpha_ , in a way he has never felt before, he cannot do that to Tadashi.

For all that Tadashi deserves all the riches in the world, he also deserves better than the boy who used to disrespect him when they were children, and a subdued life as the trophy husband of a prince, seen always as an accessory or status symbol, never a human, from then forth.

He cannot do that to Tadashi, and so he cannot offer himself as a suitor.

He will have to watch Tadashi choose someone else, for the rest of his life living with the knowledge that Tadashi could have been his.

Somehow, this hurts a lot more than the separation of status he thought would rip them apart.


	2. Chapter 2

Tadashi finds him again the very next morning, as he is wont to do. Kei is perusing a book, sitting in his favourite niche in a mostly abandoned part of the castle. He likes to avoid the bustling of the main castle hallways, dislikes reading in the library, where he is bound to meet people, people who expect him to hold a perfunctory conversation with them before they part ways from him, simply because he currently is the second in line to the throne.

Tadashi still smells delicious. Kei has to supress his urge to scent him once more; everything about Tadashi’s scent is incredibly enticing: it is light, floral, with a note of sugar. There is a hint of the kitchen, of baking, on him at all times, and Kei wants to bury his nose in his neck.

Instead, he simply looks up.

Tadashi seems to be dressed more carefully today than he usually is: he is not in his common kitchen attire, and there is none of the usual flour on his shirt. Even his hair looks to be more carefully combed.

He is looking to impress potential suitors already. The thought comes to Kei unbidden and unwanted, and he tries to push it away immediately.

He does not want to imagine Tadashi in the mornings, getting ready carefully, viable suitors in mind, and yet the image is stuck in his head now, holding him captive.

“Yamaguchi,” he says, shaking himself out of his thoughts, his usual greeting. His voice sounds clenched and rough even to his own ears, and he can see Tadashi flinch, the cheerfulness slinking out of his features. Kei hates himself for it. But it reminds him of years past, when they were still children, the way he would unthinkingly and sometimes thinkingly hurt Tadashi with his demeanour and words.

It reminds him why it is better he distance himself.

He cannot have Tadashi himself, but he is not sure he can watch Tadashi choose anyone else. Distance seems the sensible solution.

Distance seems the sensible solution, and yet he does not tell Yamaguchi to leave him alone, or that he has no time for him.

They spend the day out in the castle gardens. Kei likes to be outside, and Yamaguchi only feels comfortable enough to be in the castle gardens when he is in Kei’s company; feels like he is overstepping his boundaries otherwise, although that is absurd: all castle staff are allowed to spend their leisure time there.

They are sitting on a bench, looking at the flowers the gardeners have grown with much care, when Tadashi brings up the topic Kei has been dreading.

“Your parents are throwing a ball for me,” he says, something unbelieving in his voice.

“You are an omega, after all,” Kei replies. You are worth something to the elite, now, he does not say. He does not need to say it: they both know it. Tadashi’s life is now worth something, because as a male omega, he can elevate someone’s status simply by existing at their side, being _theirs_. What this means is the following: Tadashi is worth something as a _possession_ , not a person.

They are both aware of this, and Kei wonders if Tadashi resents that, resents that his worth is not inherent, does not come out of _himself_ , simply his biology, or if he sees this as an opportunity to better his and his parents’ life, which it is, although not in the most pleasant way. Still, in the only way that will ever be accessible to him, the only way he could have hoped for.

Tadashi looks at him, leans closer to him; for a moment, it almost seems like he is about to lean his head on Kei’s shoulders, but then he stops his movement, either thinking better of it or never having planned it in the first place.

Kei’s heart clenches achingly.

“I’m a little bit scared,” Tadashi admits. “I have no idea how to behave at a ball. I’ve never been around nobles.”

“You have been around me,” Kei says.

“That’s not the same,” Tadashi says, which is the truth. Kei sighs, and looks at him: Tadashi, gleaming, beautiful Tadashi. Tadashi, who smells incredible and who Kei has been in love with for years.

Kei looks at him, and makes a decision.

“I can help you learn what you need to know,” he tells Tadashi.

Tadashi beams at him, surprise and gratefulness writing itself all over his features, and his voice is fond and happy when he says, almost wonderingly, “Thank you, Tsukki!”

And Kei thinks he will perish; will help Tadashi make the best impression on someone who is not Kei, will have to watch him be someone else’s trophy husband, and will do nothing to stop it, encourage it instead, because Kei is weak and if this is what Tadashi wants, then who is he to deny him the help he is capable of offering?

\--

Teaching Tadashi court manners is too easy and insurmountably hard all at once. It is too easy, because Tadashi is a fast learner, and a motivated one at that, clings to every word Kei says, ever-willing to prove himself. It is insurmountably hard, because Kei has to watch Tadashi exceed every one of his expectations, knowing that someone else will get to reap the benefits of Tadashi’s hard work.

Still, Kei simply helps, and tries not to think about it, ignores the knowing looks Akiteru sends him over dinner.

The ball is set to take place at the end of December.

This means they have nearly two lunar cycles to prepare. A laughingly short period of time for someone to learn how to behave around nobility, who have had all their life to learn appropriate behaviour and spot outliers, and yet more than enough to transform Tadashi, who is already a sparkling presence, into someone who will be irresistible to the majority of them.

Kei hates everything about it with a burning passion.

\--

Much worse than teaching Tadashi court manners and behaviour is teaching him how to dance. Kei keeps pushing it away until last, keeps ignoring that this, too, is something Tadashi will have to learn.

Tadashi, who smells delicious and is always close, far more close than is appropriate for an unbonded omega, who brings Kei pastries he’s baked himself and lights up when he hears bird song, every day without fail, already presents too big an enticement on the best of days.

There is nothing good that can come out of dancing with him. Kei has learned to restrict his own behaviour, supress instinct and act nothing less than perfectly polished at any given time, from a very young age on. This is the only reason he will have any chance not to lose himself in Tadashi’s scent when presented so closely with it, and yet he is not sure if it is going to be enough.

Finally, he decides he can ignore this no more: on the seventeenth of December, a mere ten days before the ball. Ten days seem an impossibly short amount of time to teach someone the intricacies of dance, but it may just be enough to teach Tadashi one or two simple court dances he will not embarrass himself with.

Tadashi usually takes well to following Kei’s directions and has, in general, a rather good control of his body, when he is not too plagued by his own doubts.

It will have to be enough.

Tadashi seems to expect another lesson on manners, maybe the usage of the right eating utensils, or a quizzing on the members of nobility that can be expected to attend the ball. He has not yet enquired about when Kei will teach him to dance even once – Kei is not sure if it is because Tadashi is nervous about these lessons himself, or if he simply trusts Kei to have laid out a well thought-out teaching plan.

Whatever it is that he is expecting, it surely is not the large ballroom they enter. It is one of the smaller ballrooms in the castle, and yet it is big and pompous, decked out with gold and expensive carpentry. Tadashi’s eyes widen when they enter it.

“Oh,” he says quietly.

Kei supresses a snort; it is unbecoming of a prince, and yet Tadashi seems to bring out the sides in him that he would hide from anybody else.

“I will be teaching you some court dances, today,” he offers. “For now without musical accompaniment, we are only learning the basic components.” He has settled on the most basic of court dances Tadashi will have to know; the basse danse as the slow pair dance that will be expected of him, as well as a tourdion, its faster counterpart.

He is sure that Tadashi will master the basse danse with its slow, gliding steps without much problem, but the tourdion could present much more of a challenge; it took a long time for Kei to learn this lively dance with all its variations properly, although he has to admit that he never put much effort into learning it. He does not like soirées, does not like to be made to attend events that span their country’s nobility; he would much rather sit in the library or a hidden part of the castle and read, has fled from many a ball in the past, much to his mother’s chagrin.

Still, now, he is thankful that he was taught a wide variety of court dances properly, and knows them well enough to relay the information.

Hopefully, he will have taught Tadashi a lovely basse danse and at least a good cinq pas tourdion – he fears he will not have the time to teach him any of the more challenging variations – by the time the ball comes around. The tourdion is the more important part, the basse danse more used to introduce each other than as a proper dance, but he has trust in Tadashi, trust in his ability to learn its movements.

Much as it is going to pain him to see Tadashi dance with someone who is not him, he could never watch Tadashi embarrass himself in front of the country’s nobility, in front of the men who seek to marry him.

“Dances, huh,” Tadashi says, sounding quiet. Kei looks at him, at his wide eyes, at the small, unsure smile curling at his lips, and wants to tell him that everything is going to be alright, that he will take care of him, protect him, make sure everything goes well.

But Tadashi is not his to take care of or protect. All Kei is here for is to teach him, so that Tadashi can become someone else’s to take care of and protect, and that thought pulls at Kei’s heart strings, makes him feel miserable and aching.

He pulls himself together as best he can.

“The basse danse, for a start,” he says, and offers Tadashi a small smile. It is all he can do: to offer this little reassurance.

Tadashi looks at Kei, and his smile, and Kei feels like he is drowning in Tadashi’s scent, suddenly. Tadashi is staring at Kei’s lips, probably because Kei does not smile often, and Kei feels wrong-footed and overwhelmed, can barely hold himself back from stepping into Tadashi’s personal space, pressing his nose into his neck.

He clears his throat and starts explaining the dance.

\--

Teaching Tadashi basse danse works rather well for Kei’s sanity. Although having Tadashi’s hand in his makes his brain nearly black out, give the reigns over to the less rationalistic sides of him, they are side-to-side, and so he does not have to look directly at him, which is doable. Tadashi takes quickly to learning the slow, gliding steps and remembering them; they will have a lot of repetition over the following days, so Kei is sure that Tadashi can manage the basse danse, if they have the time probably even the livelier saltarello, which is a much-used and liked follow-up.

The tourdion, however, is what gives Kei pause. Teaching Tadashi a simple cinque pas tourdion should be doable, and yet that will hardly be enough to satisfy the young aristocrats who will have come to dance with Tadashi. Ten days, however, is not nearly enough to teach Tadashi more complex versions of the tourdion, and Kei is starting to regret his decision to delay their dance lessons. Still, behaviour and manners are important as well, more important than the dances even, and so Kei is certain that as long as Tadashi makes a good impression in conversation, this will suffice.

On top of that, none of the noblemen will expect Tadashi to be well brought up; he is merely the son of castle staff, after all, a mere commoner, were it not for his presentation as an omega. He will not be expected to be more than a trophy husband to any of the alphas showing interest in him, and the thought sickens Kei.

He wants to tell Tadashi to forgo the ball entirely, to stay with Kei and Kei only, to marry him, become a prince consort. But the reasons why he cannot do this are suffocating, and so he keeps quiet, and lets himself be suffocated by them, all the while feeling like he might collapse under his own feelings for Tadashi.

Tadashi, who deserves to be given the world.

Kei would give it to him, if only he knew how.

\--

Somehow, Kei manages to survive teaching Tadashi how to dance even the tourdion. It is good that modesty is a high value; he does not know what he would do if court dances were closer, more personal than they are. Merely touching Tadashi’s skin is too much to handle, for Kei. Tadashi smells intoxicating, and the feel of his skin makes Kei want to press close, to take and _claim_ , to _keep_.

His instincts are overpoweringly strong, and they are not nearly as distinguished and well-brought-up as Kei is. They are a more animalistic part of him, and it is hard to keep them at bay, particularly when Tadashi seems to be leaking his scent all over Kei.

If Kei did not know better, he would say that Tadashi is trying to mark him as his alpha, present himself as a viable option to Kei, tell him that he wants to be claimed by him. This is, however, a laughable notion. Kei _does_ know better. And even if Tadashi’s inner omega might accept that Kei is an alpha, might even be enticed by him, Tadashi surely is not, cannot be interested.

Kei’s entire sanity depends on staying sure in this knowledge, that he is not good enough for Tadashi, and Tadashi could never consider him a good alpha. Kei has done nothing to prove himself as a mate to Tadashi. He wants to, desperately – has wanted to for years – but it is not his place, and he cannot undo how he treated Tadashi as a child.

He is not mate material, not for Tadashi, who deserves only the best.

Kei only fears that there is nobody out there who is good enough for Tadashi.

\--

Warrior is strong and powerful beneath Kei. It is cold, but Warrior is warm, his warmth not penetrating the thick leather saddle, but nearly billowing off him in thick wafts. Warrior’s and Kei’s breath is visible in the cold winter air.

It is night, and dark outside; Kei can barely make out their environment. He trusts in his horse, though, in Warrior’s steady steps, his instinctual knowledge of the terrain.

Kei knows that he should not be out alone in the dark, nobody but his horse with him, but it is the night before the ball is set to take place, and Kei is restless.

If something were to try and hurt him now, be it animal or human, he might even welcome it. He is not sure how to deal with Tadashi marrying someone else.

He had always known this day would come, and yet he is not prepared for it.

Watching Tadashi court and be courted will be the hardest thing he is going to have to do in his life, when everything in him screams that he loves Tadashi, that Tadashi is _his_ ; when the part of him that is distinctly alpha wants to take and _claim_ , see Tadashi swell with Kei’s child; when the part of him that is distinctly Kei wants to spend his every hour beside Tadashi, offer him all the riches he could never afford, buy him a horse and teach him to read, drape him in all the finest silks, show him off to the world or maybe keep him from it, hidden, so that only Kei may know the sweetness of his company.

There is no part of Kei that does not love Tadashi, does not want Tadashi, in every way one can want another, and this feels so given, unchangeable, that it is scary; a foregone conclusion, from the day Kei met him.

And yet, much like Tadashi will marry someone else, Kei will have to marry someone who is not Tadashi one day; someone soft-spoken, an accessory to the Tsukishima’s reign; someone who Kei will be expected to learn to cherish, and someone who will bear his children, inevitably.

The idea of letting someone into his bed who is not Tadashi is impossible to even imagine, and yet Kei knows it is what is expected to him.

And so he is out here, on this night, feeling the cold of the winter on his skin, Warrior strong and warm beneath him, the night silent but for Warrior’s steady steps.

He looks out over the castle grounds, seeing nothing but the stars in the night sky and shrubbery painted by soft moonlight, and thinks that perhaps, meeting a pack of wolves would not be so bad, after all.

He feels like a wolf, himself, on some days; feels like he is on the prowl, when looking at Tadashi, and maybe this is where he belongs: not inside a castle, sat between people who care more about keeping up appearances than anything of actual importance, but out here, only his loyal steed for company.

Yet he knows that come morning, he will have returned to his room, and face another day head-on.

Another day, yet one that is not like any other, because it is the day that will most likely decide Tadashi’s fate, and Kei’s with it.

\--

Morning breaks quietly, and without much fanfare; it is sunny outside, the sun reflecting off the snow, painting the landscape a kaleidoscope of colours. There is not much noise, this early in the morning, at least in this wing of the castle, and Kei cannot help but to think, as he looks out of the window, out over the castle grounds, that the morning seems far to innocuous and gentle, for what is to occur on this day.

For today the young elite of the country will vie for Tadashi’s attention all evening long, all the while judging him as if he were a piece of meat. To them, he is nothing more than an investment.

And since Kei’s parents are hosting the ball, he will be forced to attend, forced to watch it happen.

He gets dressed sullenly but quickly, in his most base attire; he will have to change before the evening dawns and the first guests arrive, so he does not see the merit in putting on one of his finer garments, and indeed he would like to not put on his finer garments at all, on this day; he will, of course, if only for Tadashi’s sake, for it would be insulting to Tadashi, were Kei to show up sloppily dressed.

When Kei opens to the door, intending to go out, maybe go for a stroll through the gardens or hide himself with a book, he finds a little basket sitting in front of his bedchambers.

Tadashi’s scent, sweet and enticing, still clings to it so there is no question in who it is from, and Kei’s heart sinks. If their roles were reversed – if Kei were the omega, and Tadashi the alpha – this would count as a courting gift. Of course, it is not; omegas do not court alphas, and they especially do not court alphas above their social standing – even if Tadashi would be an eligible choice, for Kei, being the male omega that he is.

Even if they did, Tadashi has always brought Kei little gifts, food he has smuggled out of the kitchens.

This is nothing special, and yet it feels like it.

For today is the day of Tadashi’s ball, the day on which he will be introduced to potential partners, laying the groundwork for his choosing a mate; and yet here he is, bringing Kei food as if everything is still the same.

It hurts, impossibly so.

Kei picks up the basket, walks back into his bedchambers, closes the door behind him. He puts the basket down gingerly on the small table, flanked by two dark green armchairs with gold stitching, that sits to the left side of the door.

He sits down and stares at the basket, for a moment.

He nearly dares not to open it; it seems like a present he is not worthy of, once again reminding him of all the positivity Tadashi has brought to his life from the very day he first stumbled into it. Kei cannot say the same for himself as an influence on Tadashi’s life.

Maybe if he had been different, as a child, he would entertain the idea of asking for Tadashi’s hand, now. But he was withdrawn as a child, unwilling to let anyone into his personal space, much less a common kitchen boy, and so it took years for him to become someone Tadashi had reason to want to be around.

He is still withdrawn, today.

He wishes it were different, but it is not, and so it is useless to think about.

With a sigh, he looks into the basket, takes out the delicately wrapped food. Today, Tadashi has brought him two fruit tarts and a small date loaf; he can smell Tadashi on them – he is sure Tadashi made them himself, and it makes Kei want to cry out in agony, not that he has ever done such a thing.

This, indeed, could be construed as no other way than courting, were their positions reversed. But they are not, and it is just a simple, thoughtless gesture of friendship, one Tadashi has shown countless times before.

Once more, Kei feels horribly undeserving of Tadashi’s friendship.

Perhaps, this ball will present the cut that is necessary, for them: a basis on which Kei can remove himself from Tadashi’s life. Tadashi might move to a different side of the country, as it is, depending on who he will choose for a mate.

Then Tadashi can shower his new mate in gifts, or maybe do nothing of the sort, let himself be spoiled by his new mate’s chefs, the way Tadashi deserves to be spoiled.

It is a thought that should soothe Kei, perhaps: Tadashi being spoiled. Yet thought of Tadashi sitting in a room all day is unbecoming, to Kei. Tadashi is the sort of person who needs to do, to _experience_ things. Tadashi is the sort of person who would not be happy, only ever sitting around, letting himself be spoiled.

(If he were Kei’s to take care of, Kei would gift him a horse, take him on rides, buy him books, and gift him an entire kitchen he could bake in whenever he wants to. He would travel with Tadashi, show him the world. Or maybe, on most days, he would just sit with Tadashi and shower him in attention, all the attention Tadashi deserves, all the attention he has tried to get from Kei over the years, that Kei has sometimes given him, more willingly than he ought to have.)

(He tries not to think about it. He does not deserve to even imagine a future with Tadashi.)

Perhaps, after this ball, Kei’s and Tadashi’s friendship will come to a rest, and Tadashi will find better friends. The sort of friends he deserves. The sort of friends he already has, in the kitchen staff and even in one of the stable boys, and yet always seems to abandon in favour of Kei, who is not deserving of him at all.

Kei looks at the fruit tarts and date loaf he is not worthy of, and wants to cry.

Instead, he gingerly takes a bite out of one of the fruit tarts.

Of course, it tastes heavenly, the way he imagines Tadashi’s mouth would: sweet and satisfying. He pushes the thought away.

At the end of this evening, he will have reason to put all these thoughts to rest for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed chapter two, although I know not much has happened yet. :)
> 
> (I also think it's more obvious in this chapter that I've gone for a European Medieval Setting, fourteenth-century-ish.  
> Please forgive me for the inaccuracies, of which I am sure there are many, not least of all because I did not settle on an exact geographic location and time.  
> I may have briefly studied Medieval History in University, but that was a few years ago and much more focused on political conflicts than anything else.  
> Also, at the end of the day, this is an ABO AU and certainly not meant to be realistic, so I hope it's just fun to read, if nothing else. <3)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three is here :D It's finally time for: the ball >:D  
> Hope you enjoy this one. <3

Kei does not see Tadashi until the evening comes. He is not sure if Tadashi is avoiding him or simply busy, but his guess would be that it is the latter; Tadashi has never once avoided Kei, to Kei’s knowledge.

Come evening, Kei spends nearly an hour in front of his wardrobe, unable to make a decision. It should not matter this much; as long as he dresses in a way befitting of his social standing, nobody will care all that much, since he is not the focus of the evening, and it is not as if he has anyone to impress. (Tadashi, his heart says, but Kei ignores it steadfastly.)

Kei is sure his mother would love it if he could impress some of the nobility; some of the older lords who are accompanying their sons have pretty beta and some even omega daughters Kei’s age, and after all, his mother dreams of finding him a beautiful wife from a wealthy, influential family.

It is not his prerogative, however; he is merely attending as to not insult Tadashi, after all.

Ultimately, he ends up choosing some of his best garments; they are of a deep green with golden embroidery. He has been told before, by Tadashi, that green and gold compliment his hair and eyes, make them look golden themselves.

Not that it matters, but he takes a certain satisfaction out of knowing he is going to be well-dressed, making the best of his appearance.

\--

Kei arrives before the lords and ladies do; of course he does: his parents are hosting this ball, and so they, him and Akiteru enter the ballroom first. It is their biggest one, the ceiling and walls painted with murals, one of the walls an entire window front overlooking the castle gardens. It is a sight to behold, he knows. It is going to intimidate Tadashi, of that he is sure. He wishes he could be by Tadashi’s side when he enters the ballroom, remind him of their weeks of learning, remind him that everything is going to be alright.

Remind him that even if he messes up, he is worth too much, as a male omega, prized for fertility and rarity, for any of the nobles attending this ball to care about it; none of them can afford to let this opportunity pass them by, for mating with a male omega is sure to elevate one’s social standing considerably.

His parents and brother are dressed impeccably, of course, his mother giving some of the last instructions to the waiting staff, who have drinks and canapés on hand. They have decided against a lavish banquet, and opted to offer little canapés instead; the guests are invited to stay for a day more, however, and take part of the banquet planned for the following day, since a good number of them have travelled a considerable distance for this ball.

Kei positions himself next to his brother and Aiya, his brother’s wife. Akiteru does not necessarily enjoy balls a lot, although he despises them less than Kei does. Aiya, however, loves them: loves to socialise.

Oftentimes Aiya ends up socialising all evening long, leaving Kei and Akiteru to commiserate together.

“Kei,” Aiya says, pleased to see him, and smiles. She has made many an attempt to get to know him better, get into his good graces, over the last years. Kei has not made it easy for her, he knows. He has a hard time feeling comfortable around new people, and he does not have anything in common with her. On top of that, he has never been one for senseless small talk. Of course, he is courteous with her, as is expected of him, primarily because he knows she means a lot to his brother.

But he has never gotten comfortable around her, and they know it both.

“Aiya,” he says and inclines his head. This is the extent of talking he is willing to do, today; he does not usually have the energy for customary small-talk, and today even less so. Not on this evening, of all evenings.

\--

The first noblemen and -women arrive shortly after Kei, gliding into the ballroom with pompous amounts of self-confidence, clad in their finest garments. The first to arrive are the Kuroo family, then the Kageyama family.

For a short moment, Kei had forgotten that Kageyama Tobio has turned eighteen just a few days ago and presented as an alpha, much to his family’s delight: this means that both their children, Miwa and Tobio, have presented as alphas, elevating their family’s social standing. Not that they truly need it, seeing as they have been the royal family’s trusted advisors for generations.

Shortly after that, the Oikawa family arrives; they have had quite the journey here, but Oikawa Tooru is still unmated, and this is an opportunity they would not have missed, Kei knows.

Then the Sawamuras arrive, and after that, Kei loses track, of his own volition.

Keeping up with who is showing up and who is not is proving to be rather the painful pastime; he does not want to imagine a single one of these people mating with Tadashi.

He knows he will spend the entire evening watching Tadashi, watching them try to impress Tadashi, and the thought alone fills him with dread. So he cannot keep track, cannot imagine this _now_ , subject himself to more torture than he will be subject to already.

He considers talking to Aiya, for a short while; but she has already started socialising, is currently involved in a pleasant conversation with Miwa. It is perhaps better this way. While Aiya would certainly provide a distraction, it is not a distraction that would be agreeable for his state of mind.

Kei entertains the thought of Akiteru, then; but Akiteru is filling his role as the king-to-be, involved in conversations himself.

Since Kei does not feel like inserting himself into any conversations already happening, or starting up one of his own, he does what he always does: stand to the side and look like he does not want to be engaged in conversation.

Most of the nobility know this by now, of course; that he will greet guests formally, and then avoid partaking in more than the compulsory pleasantries. He is not one for reasonless chatting, and this is okay, and respected. Not that the nobility have any choice _but_ to respect this; he is the second heir in line to the throne, after all.

\--

The amount of time passing before Tadashi arrives feels too short and yet too long all at once; Kei can feel himself growing restless.

He does not know why he is this nervous. Does it really matter, in the grand scheme of things, who of these people Tadashi will marry? It is going to be someone other than Kei, and the mere mating will put an end to their long friendship – or, at the very least, hinder it considerably.

Still, he is anxious, his stomach feeling uncomfortable. He feels out of place, here, between all these people, come only to vie for Tadashi’s attention, and yet it is exactly where he belongs, for he feels nothing but the need to do exactly that: vie for Tadashi’s attention, prove himself as a mate.

His inner alpha is roaring at the alphas around Kei, these people un-knowingly challenging Kei for what he, instinctually, considers _his_ ; but he is too well brought up to challenge any of them, even knowing that they would have to bow before him, for he is part of the royal family, and they are not.

Kei feels ashamed of his own feelings, of his own instincts.

But he cannot erase them; the best he can do is tame them, keep them hidden, and so he does.

\--

Tadashi’s scent enters the room before he himself does, and so when Tadashi steps foot into the ballroom, all eyes are on him.

“Tadashi of the Yamaguchi family,” the King says. It is a grand honour, to be announced by the king himself, one bestowed upon so few. Tadashi is one of those select few, now.

Kei looks at him, and his heart weeps.

Tadashi looks _breathtaking_. He is clad in fine silken garments, accenting his subtle curves, flowing around him like water, accentuated by delicate silver jewellery – undoubtedly both courtesy of the Queen.

The most beautiful thing about him, however, is, as always, Tadashi himself: his beautiful eyes, warm and brown and always filled to the brim with emotion; his soft skin and the freckles that paint entire constellations on it; his shiny hair, silky to the touch, as Kei knows, courtesy of Tadashi steadfastly ignoring his personal space over the years. Tadashi has tried to tame his hair today, that much is apparent, but still a little strand sticks up, defiant.

Kei wants to run his hands through Tadashi’s hair, over his skin, map all of his freckles with his hands, his tongue.

But Tadashi is not his, and he will never get to do that.

And so he watches Tadashi walk into the room, his steps shaky from nerves, his parents by his side, looking exceptionally nervous; watches as every young alpha in the country who holds a title and money to their name comes up to him to introduces themself.

He watches, and his heart weeps.

All he wants is to go over and put a stop to his; tell everyone that Tadashi is already taken.

He wonders if Tadashi has manged to scrub Kei’s scent off him, the scent that he spent days getting so close to one could have had the impression he wanted to cover himself in it. (Regardless of Tadashi’s actual intention, he did, actually, achieve this.)

Kei looks at him, and wonders. He cannot smell himself on Tadashi now, but Tadashi is not close, and there is a possibility that a note of Kei’s scent is still clinging to him.

Kei hopes against all hopes, even though he knows he should not want to. Looks at Tadashi and _wants_ and feels entirely foolish.

Tadashi looks over from across the room, where he is in a conversation with the Terushima’s youngest son, and their eyes meet. There is something in Tadashi’s eyes that makes Kei want to storm over and rip him away.

The Terushima’s youngest son is arrogant, knows not the meaning of honour or responsibility. He is a heart-breaker, he is not good enough by far. Kei wants to challenge him right there, for even daring to court Tadashi.

Instead, he adverts his gaze and lets his heart weep.

\--

Kei cannot keep his eyes entirely off Tadashi – how, when Tadashi smells this enticing, and looks like he was crafted by the Gods? – and so he looks over, time and time again, and is therefore subject to seeing when Tobio leads him out onto the floor for a dance.

Kei has to breathe in and out deeply to keep from doing something rather undignified, like screaming in frustration. It is absurd; he is not one for emotional outbursts. Here, as in everything else, Tadashi presents an exception.

Tobio is made up well, wearing a dark blue that compliments his blue eyes and raven black hair. His movements are graceful; he is not the best person to converse with about books or politics, but anything that requires him to move and use is body is in his field of expertise. Usually, he puts his strength to show during combat and competition; now, he dances like a noble who has been brought up with it his entire life, since this is who he is.

Kei hates him with a burning passion, feels rage stronger than he has ever felt before.

He watches as Tobio and Tadashi dance, as Tobio does not seem to lose himself even a little bit in Tadashi’s scent. It is a little known secret that Tobio hopes to never be mated, that his parents are going to have a hard time finding him someone he wishes to wed. For all that this should soothe Kei, it only makes his rage burn brighter. How dare Tobio dance with Tadashi, look at Tadashi, proposition Tadashi, when he is not enticed by him, when he does not actually want to mate with him? How dare he present himself as a suitor on the wishes of his family alone?

Tadashi deserves better than this, so much better than this, and Kei’s inner alpha is howling.

But he cannot intercept – it is not his place, and could start a diplomatic incident. The rules of the elite, their social norms and acceptable behaviour, are intricate; challenging one of the beloved children of the Kageyama family is not only far from appropriate, it also lacks all of the finesse one has to go about when wanting to convey their displeasure.

And, once again, Kei is surprising himself with his desire to intercept at all; Tadashi proving to be his exception for his behaviour again and again, making Kei want to show emotions publicly, behave in a way that incites attention, a desire he has never had before.

(But oh, how he wants to, now. To step between Tobio and Tadashi, let everyone know that Tadashi is _his_ , and his alone. It is an action he can and will never follow through with, but the want for it burns him from the inside out.)

Kei adverts his eyes, or tries to; does not want to watch them, and yet he can see his eyes coming back to them.

Tadashi does not move as gracefully as Tobio does, but he moves well, and is smiling just a little, being polite and shy around Tobio, as he should around a suitor.

Seeing Tadashi smile for Tobio, even if it is just a small smile, and polite façade more than anything else, is too much entirely for Kei, and he can feel himself, his heart, breaking, over and over again.

All the while, he wants to shout. Say ‘this is not a real smile’, show Tobio that _Kei_ can make Tadashi smile, and how blindingly beautiful an honest smile looks on Tadashi’s face.

This, he thinks to himself, is the purest form of torture; his family’s dungeons, long since abandoned, only kept useable for times of war, have nothing on this: watching Tadashi smile at another alpha.

By the time Tobio and Tadashi part ways, Kei feels like he has been rolled over by a horse carriage, or a heavy wooden log pulled by a draught horse, the horse trampling him over with it.

He, suddenly, is fiercely jealous of his older brother: his older brother who never fell in love with someone below his standing, but instead with the soft-spoken omega intended for him; Akiteru, who has everything that Kei could ever want out of a mating. Who, despite being the heir to the throne, managed to marry for love, in the tracks laid for him by their parents.

Akiteru, whose childhood best friend is of the same social standing as him, someone he can freely spend time with to this day, someone beloved by his family; someone Akiteru never fell in love with, and was all too happy to see get married.

He looks over at Akiteru, making small talk with their family’s cloth supplier, a rich, old man, who brought his alpha son with him. Looks over at Akiteru, Aiya at his side, proudly bearing his mark, and he feels cheated out of so much. This is the life he should be living: carefree, the spoiled King’s son, never to see a worry in his life.

And instead, he is watching the love of his life make eyes at people that are not him, feeling like he might come apart at the seams.

How does one deal with feelings such as this, he wonders. He wonders, too, if this wound will ever heal; if he will wake up in a few years’ time, and losing Tadashi will only be a distant ache.

He cannot imagine it, cannot imagine their friendship becoming nothing more than a faint scar, the memory of his first real loss.

Not now, when he looks at Tadashi and feels like he is bleeding.

But maybe, in a few years’ time, he will be able to move on, to forget, even. Just because it feels impossible does not mean it is.

He looks at Tadashi and wonders if Tadashi will miss him and their friendship, once he is mated and no longer a part of Kei’s life; if he will sometimes think about him. Perhaps he will; Tadashi has always been someone to get attached strongly. But then again, maybe his new husband will show him the wonders of the world, and Tadashi will forget all too quickly about the King’s son, who took a long time to treat him the way he should have treated Tadashi from the very start.

Maybe he will bear his husband many children, and remind those children to never befriend someone who does not treat them with the warmth they deserve.

Kei aches.

\--

Even worse than watching Tobio try to court Tadashi is watching Tetsurou of the Kuroo family. It is glaringly obvious that he has no interest in what he is doing, at all; he barely even pays Tadashi attention while they are dancing, does not seem to be talking to him at all, and seems to be generally annoyed by the entire act.

Kei feels the urge to go over and bring his fist to Tetsurou’s face, and he is not even sure if that is his inner alpha or just himself, plain and simple.

It is _insulting_ , to watch Tetsurou disrespect Tadashi like this.

Kei thinks he might know why Tetsurou is acting like this; there have been rumours going around about Tetsurou and the Kuroo family’s blacksmith’s apprentice, a beta named Kenma.

If those rumours are indeed true, then it would explain why Tetsurou is acting like this, and also why he has shown up at all, despite his obvious lack of interest in properly pursuing Tadashi: the apprentice of a blacksmith is so far below Tetsurou’s standing that Tetsurou _needs_ to keep up appearances, if he does not wish to start a scandal.

It seems almost ironic, that Tetsurou might be in the position that Kei was sure he himself would end up in: helplessly in love with someone below his social standing, unwilling to let go.

Seems even more ironic that Kei could _have_ Tadashi, now, and instead he has to watch Tetsurou dance with Tadashi, Tetsurou who is not even trying to feign interest.

Kei hates it with a fierceness he cannot put into words. Would not put into words even if he could.

After Tetsurou and Tadashi part ways, Kei can see Tadashi look over, and their eyes meet again. Kei aches, and then Tadashi is suddenly moving, making his way over to him. A bold move: to talk to the prince of his own volition, instead of waiting for him to start a conversation. At any other place, with any other family of royals, this would prove a grave mistake.

But it is only Kei, and so while Tadashi’s behaviour is getting him stares and frantically whispered conversations, Tadashi will not get reprimanded for this, experience consequences.

Instead, Kei watches him come over with bated breath, his heart feeling like it might beat out of his chest.

Tadashi stops right in front of him and smiles up at him, and Kei looks at him, and up close he is even more breathtaking, looking absolutely ethereal. Kei wants to reach out, touch the contours of his face, stroke his silky hair, thumb his pretty lips.

“Tadashi,” he says instead, and inclines his head.

“Tsukki,” Tadashi says happily, before remembering where he is and stuttering, “uh, I mean, Your Majesty–”

It sounds so wrong that Kei stops him with a shake of his head. Letting Tadashi call him ‘Tsukki’ in front of their guests seems like a horrifically bad idea, but Kei does not care if this puts his reputation in shambles. He does care that this might harm _Tadashi’s_ reputation, this daringness of being over-familiar with someone so high above him, this daringness to directly address an alpha, even though Tadashi is an omega and his role is to be quiet, to serve, to _wait to be addressed_ ; but Tadashi must certainly know this, and yet he does not seem to care, is here, in front of Kei, looking at him, demanding his attention. Kei has not been able to deny Tadashi his attention in a long time.

‘Do you not want to use this time to procure a good match?’ Kei wants to ask, ‘Do you not know how this looks, and that it feels like you might have chosen me, standing so daringly in front of me, looking up at me, having brought me your baking just this morning?’

‘Do you not know how I ache for you, and that I would say yes, a thousand times over, if only you did want me? Do you not know that you have smelled like me, like you are _mine_ , every day since you presented, and that all I want is to make you smell like me all over again?’

“How do you find the ball so far?” he asks instead, underlying question clear: has anyone caught your attention? ( _This attention that should not be on anyone else, this attention that does not belong to them, any of them_ , he thinks.)

“Quite splendid,” Tadashi says, but his facial expression tells Kei that it isn’t going the way he hoped it would, and Kei feels relieved immediately, just to hate himself for feeling this way.

Kei lowers his voice a bit, and steps a little closer. “Are you feeling acceptable?” he asks. He knows how quickly Tadashi gets overwhelmed, and he is not the best at offering support, but he still feels like he should check on him, make sure he gets a break if he needs one.

Tadashi smiles at him, then, his first real smile of the night, soft and blindingly beautiful, and Kei aches, so much, can feel his fingers tingle with the desire to just reach out and touch and pull Tadashi into him, hold him, protect him, _have_ him.

“Better now, that I’m here with you,” Tadashi says, his open honesty completely derailing Kei. Sometimes he wonders how Tadashi manages this: to be so open and sincere, when Kei does not offer himself up in return for all the feelings Tadashi trusts him with. It reminds him, again, how much he lacks, how much better than him Tadashi deserves. Tadashi _deserves_ someone who can give himself up in return, and all Kei does is silently cherish all these words, without ever telling Tadashi that he does so.

“This ball is exhausting, not that I’m not incredibly thankful! And everyone’s compliments seem so – backhanded. ‘You are such a good dancer, for someone of your standing’. And there is so much etiquette to remember.” Tadashi looks dejected, for a moment, and Kei has half a mind to find everyone who has made Tadashi feel less, on this evening, and confront them immediately, but then Tadashi is already speaking again, the sparkle returning to his eyes.

“But just standing here with you relaxes me and makes me feel better,” he says, and Kei wants to scream at him, tell Tadashi that this is _wrong_. Tadashi is here to find a spouse, not spend time with _Kei_ , and Kei is here to watch him, and then retreat, leave not only the ball but Tadashi’s _life_ , let Tadashi find happiness with someone who knows how to treat him – or who, at the very least, is willing to _learn_ how to treat him.

None of the alphas here know Tadashi, know how to make him smile and what makes him light up, know his favourite food and how energetic he can be, know how to calm him down when he is overwhelmed, and that seeing a pretty butterfly will always, always make him stop whatever he is doing and just observe.

But they can learn, and they _must_ learn, because it is what Tadashi deserves, and because Kei, who has spent the last decade learning everything about Tadashi that he possibly could, has no right to offer him a life by his side.

Kei has to trust in them being willing to learn, because he does not know how else to get through this evening, through the rest of his _life_.

“Then relax. Standing to the side is what I like to do most during balls, either way,” he tells Tadashi, simply because he knows it will make Tadashi grin, and indeed it does. Tadashi’s scent, his distracting, enticing scent, sweetens up a little and gets thicker, enveloping them, almost as if he were reaching out for Kei.

Kei wants to release his pheromones in answer, wants to step even closer and rub his face against Tadashi’s scent glands, wants to reach out for Tadashi.

He reminds himself that this is only Tadashi’s scent, and has no say about what Tadashi _himself_ wants. Kei is a familiar alpha, and he just offered Tadashi a break from an exhausting evening. Of course Tadashi would react well to this, feel happy; it has nothing to do with _Kei_ , nothing to do with Tadashi being interested in him.

“Thank you,” Tadashi says, softly, stepping a little closer to Kei, looking up at him in a way that almost has him baring his throat, releasing even more of his scent, and Kei feels like he is swimming in it, like he is drunk on Tadashi. He can barely keep himself under control, but he has not had years of training in self-control for nothing.

He can feel all eyes on them, Tadashi’s scent doubtlessly permeating the entire room; it had done so even before, but now, with how strong it has gotten, he can see the alphas in the room losing themselves in it a little, all the while watching Kei, watching Tadashi.

He wonders how this must seem to them; does it look like Tadashi is coming onto him? Like he is choosing Kei? He should hope that it does not, for that would ruin Tadashi’s chances with the majority of the alphas here; it is not wise to challenge the King’s son, after all, and none of them would dare challenge Kei if they thought this was where this is going: a mating between Kei and Tadashi.

He should hope, truly, that none of them think Tadashi is interested in him, for it would make all of them apprehensive – how can they offer more in terms of riches and status than a member of the royal family, after all?

But still, he finds a traitorous part of him singing, because deep down, this _is_ what he wants; for everyone to acknowledge Tadashi as _Kei’s_ , and leave them be.

But that is not who they are, and it would be a grave misunderstanding of the situation, so all Kei can do is battle this singing part of himself down and tell himself that Tadashi will surely right this, show interest in the right people later on; it is his ball, after all, and Tadashi knows better than anyone else that this is his chance to change his life, change the life of his family, by choosing the right mate.

They stand to the side for a little while longer; Tadashi stays by Kei’s side, almost inappropriately close, until the moon is high in the sky, shining brilliantly through the big windows.

Then, he sighs a little.

“I almost don’t want to go back out,” he admits, quietly, only for Kei’s ears. “There are so many behavioural rules to remember. I would love to just be done with this.” He looks up at Kei, then, and there is something in his eyes – something asking, begging, and Kei does not know what it is asking of him, what Tadashi is begging for.

 _Tell me_ , he thinks almost desperately, _and I will give it to you, give you anything you want_.

But Tadashi says nothing more, just looks at Kei with this pleading expression on his face, and then, after a short while, when Kei has not given to him whatever he is looking for, sighs once more, looking away.

“We have gone over etiquette so much,” Kei says, softly, the only encouragement he feels capable of offering; he fears that if he were to offer anything more, he would offer his heart along with it, and this, he cannot risk.

“I know,” Tadashi says, and there is something wistful in his voice. He is looking determined but sad, now, and the anxiety of having to interact with people he does not know, people who may well be responsible for his future, is edging itself back onto his face.

Kei wants to reach out, to touch him reassuringly, just for a short while; but he has never been the one to initiate touching, between the two of them, and even if he were, he could not do it here, with so many eyes on them, waiting for any gesture to confirm that Tadashi is indeed taken by the second heir to the throne.

(He wants to give that gesture to them, make it a grandiose, clear one, but he will not, cannot, and so he does not.)

Tadashi straightens a little bit and then saunters back out into the masses, instantly getting ambushed by an alpha come to whisk him away for a dance, and Kei can feel his heart shrivel up and die in his chest.

Suddenly, he cannot be in this room any longer, and so he decides to go out, for a stroll.

If he comes back, after a while, it cannot be seen as rude; he did stay a lot longer than he usually does, and made conversation with rather a few of the guests, after all, even spending time with Tadashi, in whose honour this ball is hosted.

A break, a stroll through the castle gardens perhaps, should be excusable, he thinks and so he leaves.

Does not look back, to check if Tadashi is looking after him, watching him. It would be a foolish thing to do, only breaking his heart, since he would inevitably find Tadashi already enraptured by another alpha, Kei is certain.

And so he does not look back, and does not know.

\--

The gardens are quiet and peaceful, at this time of day.

There is nobody out here except for him and the odd pair of lovers, giggling quietly, hidden in the shadows of the trees, of the night.

Kei does not pay them any mind, instead focusing on the cold night air, on the way the moon paints the gardens silver. They look wistful yet magical, like this.

Kei wishes Tadashi were beside him; he knows Tadashi appreciates the night sky, appreciates watching the stars on the firmament, watching the moon turn this place, so vibrant by day, into this much more quiet and mysterious version of itself.

He wonders if Tadashi is going to watch the night sky with his new husband, soon.

(He does not want to think about it.)

\--

When he returns to the ballroom, he feels even more subdued and sad than he did before. He aches, still or again, he is not sure about it.

He is feeling too much. He is not used to feeling this much – this much sadness, this much rage. The love, the hopelessness, those he is well acquainted with, but everything else leaves him near-shaking and miserable.

He returns and the first thing he sees is Tadashi talking to Yuuji of the Terushima family, for the second time this evening. As opposed to Tobio and Tetsurou, Yuuji seems seriously interested, angling his body towards Tadashi, his eyes intent, his nose twitching as if he cannot get enough of Tadashi’s scent.

Which is more than understandable: Tadashi looks like a _vision_ , clad in silk, wearing jewellery, and he smells like he alone might be the key on how to get into heaven.

But Kei _burns_ , burns hot and jealous, and he does not want Yuuji to look ad Tadashi, certainly does not want Yuuji to coyly touch Tadashi’s arm, the way he is doing now, an almost indecent gesture, and he has to use the entirety of his control not to storm over and do _something_.

Instead, he decides that maybe it is time for him to retire for the evening. However badly it might be perceived that a member of the royal family is leaving a ball they themselves are throwing before its conclusion, this is _Kei_.

The aristocracy are used to him disliking social events, leaving them early, and whatever he does would surely be better than making a scene over Tadashi in front of every person of high birth who has unmated children in the entire kingdom.

So he sends Akiteru a look, the one Akiteru is used to, knows how to interpret, the one that says ‘I am not dealing with this any longer, see you in the morrow’, and takes his leave.

He manages to leave the rooms slowly, walking gracefully, his posture impeccable, the way it was trained into him; indeed remains this way until he reaches his own bedchambers.

As soon as the door closes behind him, however, he sinks to the floor.

And then, he feels them: hot, wet tears, sliding down his cheeks.

And so he sits, illuminated only by the moonlight shining through his windows, and cries, silently and achingly, for the first time in over a decade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've made it to the end stretch, guys! Only one (or two, I haven't made my mind up yet on how to distribute this) more chapter(s) to go!!! <3  
> See you next Wednesday :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was particularly hard for me to write, and I am still not entirely happy with it.
> 
> It surely did not help that I edited parts of this while having a breakdown (unrelated to this work), and proof-read it in the aftermath of said breakdown.
> 
> I still hope you get enjoyment out of reading this one - I am sorry that this is all that I can offer.

Kei awakes feeling absolutely exhausted.

He feels like he spent an entire day on horseback, without stopping, without eating or drinking, and then spent the night sleeping on the forest floor. It is a very precise memory he has, of one of his least favourite days ever spent in the company of his brother. He felt thoroughly rotten by the end of it, like he had been put through the wringer, and this is indeed how he feels now.

Except for the fact that he has not spent a day on horseback, and that he has awoken in his own bed, covered by his fine, expertly woven bedsheets.

Still, if he were to make a comparison, this would be it. And even though he has not spent the prior day on horseback, even though he has awoken in his own bed, today he feels more agonized by far than on said miserable day.

This time, he feels miserable not because of a physically taxing day, but because of a day so mentally taxing his body is exhausted along with his mind.

His heart still feels shrivelled up inside of his chest, his stomach coiled tight, heavy.

He aches, his entire body aches, more than it could if he were to have a physical reason for it.

He does not want to get out of bed – truly, does not want to greet the morning.

Does not want to see anyone, today, and hear the news he so desperately hopes to avoid forever: whether Tadashi has already chosen a mate, whether Tadashi has been proposed to already, and accepted one of the proposals.

There is no doubt in his mind that there have been proposals issued – if Tadashi has responded to any of them yet, however, is the other question. It would be wise for Tadashi to take some time, make an informed decision, but if he has met someone the previous night, someone his inner omega reacts well to, someone he wants to _submit_ to – Kei does not want to think about it.

Thinking about this will lead him nowhere.

He could leave his chambers, go out into the castle where he is sure to find out, the rumour mill of the castle abuzz at every time of the day, but he does not want to do so either.

Instead, he calls for a maid, and has her draw him a bath. Maybe relaxing his muscles will do him some good, will make him feel more prepared for the day.

(It does not.)

\--

When Kei steps out of his bedchambers, he finds Tadashi waiting in front of them. His nose notices him before his eyes do; Tadashi still smells _heavenly_ , and Kei wants to bury himself in that scent, lose himself in it.

Most importantly: Tadashi smells like nobody but _himself_.

It is a relief, to know he has not spent enough time with anyone to take on their scent. It is a relief, one that Kei has no right basking in.

“Good morning, Tsukki,” Tadashi says, and there is something subdued about him; his tone of voice does not mimic his usual excited greeting at all, and Kei immediately feels wrong-footed.

“Yamaguchi,” he says. Somehow, Tadashi slumps even more at that, despite Kei having addressed him this way for years, ever since they have met.

“You left quickly, yesterday,” Tadashi says, something miserable in his tone. He looks miserable as well: slumped and unhappy, his mouth down-turned, his eyes sad. Kei _hates_ it, wants to right it _immediately_ , but he does not know what it is that is wrong, does not know _how_ to right this –

“I always leave social events early,” Kei says.

Anyone else would have gotten no more than a simple nod of affirmation, a ‘Yes’ at the very most, but this is Tadashi, Tadashi who looks unhappy, more saddened than Kei has ever seen him in his entire life. Kei cannot leave Tadashi with a simple nod.

“Oh,” Tadashi says, quietly. “I just thought – never mind.” He looks at Kei, smiles at him, a smile so blatantly false it feels like a stab to the chest. His eyes are shimmering wet, the way they only are when he is about to cry, and Kei – Kei cannot stand this. Cannot have Tadashi looking this way.

Without thinking, he turns back to his bedchambers, opens the door, walks in.

Tadashi is still standing in the corridor.

“Are you coming?” he asks, looking over his shoulder, and he sees surprise take place on Tadashi’s face. Kei has never once invited Tadashi into his bedchambers. It is unseemly of him, so unbefitting of a prince his father would cry over it, and especially now, with their respective statuses, it is entirely inappropriate.

Tadashi steps into Kei’s room, and he closes the door.

Kei gestures to the armchairs by the table, and Tadashi sits down, a little gingerly, as if afraid; it is laughable, because this is certainly not Tadashi’s first time in Kei’s bedchambers, seeing as he manages to get into them every year for Kei’s birthday.

Yet, this is a different situation, and they both know it. Kei has invited him in, and Tadashi is an _omega_ , now.

Tadashi also does not let Kei forget the latter part; he is trying to mask it, but it is obvious that he is breathing in deeply, gulping in as much of Kei’s scent, heavily saturated in the room, as possible.

It makes Kei feel light-headed, makes him want to go over and press into Tadashi, into his scent glands, bite down, _claim_ him –

He forcibly stops his thoughts.

Tadashi is merely reacting to being in an alpha’s room, that is all.

Kei, who has seated himself in the arm-chair opposing Tadashi’s, gives him another moment to deal with being in an alpha’s bedchambers, before he asks the question that has been burning his mouth all morning.

“How many proposals have you received?”

“Seven,” Tadashi says, and the sad expression settles back on his face. Kei does not _understand_ – Tadashi should be happy about this, about being wanted, about the chance to mate with someone who can give him so much; he _seemed_ happy about it, prior to the ball. Why, then, is he so sad now?

“I wanted to reject all of them right away,” Tadashi says, “but it seems like the proposal I want is not going to happen, so I might have to consider them, after all.”

Kei hears the words, and it takes him a second to register them, but when he does, he feels like he has been punched. _The proposal I want_. So Tadashi has indeed found someone he is interested in, someone he wants, Tadashi has fallen for someone, someone who is not Kei, and that someone –

“Who could not want you?” he bites out forcibly, “Who is it? Tetsurou? Tobio? They do not deserve you either way, they do _not_ –”

His voice sounds hard and angry even to his own ears, and this is the first time he has ever lost this much control, but he feels himself spiralling – Tadashi likes someone, someone who is not Kei, and that someone does not like him back, and Kei is _burning_. He feels like he is coming apart at the seams, every part of him in flames. He has never felt this way before. He is in _agony_.

“Tsukki,” Tadashi says, low and gentle, and Kei stops. There is something wordlessly miserable in Tadashi’s eyes, a depth of feeling. He looks _broken_.

“Tsukki,” Tadashi says, “who do you think it could be? Who, out of everyone, could I want? Have I _wanted_ , for as long as I can remember?” His voice is shaking. The wetness in his eyes gives way to tears, rolling down his cheeks, and Kei can feel his heart shatter right alongside Tadashi’s.

“I– I,” Kei says, but nothing more comes out of his mouth. Who could it be? If it is someone who Tadashi has loved this long, then who?

The mere idea that all this time, Tadashi has been yearning for someone, yearning as much as Kei has been yearning for him – if Kei were not sitting down, his legs would give out on him now, he knows; even sitting, he feels like sinking to the ground.

He wants to say something snarky, something mean – cut Tadashi down with words, just to regain his own footing – but he looks at Tadashi, and there are no mean words in him, only hurt.

“Gods, Tsukki,” Tadashi says. “You truly have no idea, do you?” His voice is still shaking, tears coating his beautiful freckled cheeks. “I know you don’t feel the same way. It is – going to be alright, at some point. I simply – I hoped, stupidly, that maybe, this way, I could be enough – a good party, at least.”

Kei is staring at him. What is – what is Tadashi _saying_.

“Not important,” Tadashi says and shakes his head, although his eyes scream _so important, more important than anything else has ever been_ , “I think Ushijima Wakatoshi could perhaps be a good match – he is from a wealthy family, far away from here, and has been nothing but chivalrous.” His voice sounds bitter.

And that is when Kei breaks out of his stunned silence.

“Tadashi – what are you _saying_ ,” he says, and only realises he has used Tadashi’s first name at the way Tadashi’s mouth claps shut with force, his eyes widening impossibly.

Tadashi mouths his own name back to himself. He looks entirely dumbstruck.

“Tadashi,” Kei says, again, a little breathlessly – cannot stop himself from using Tadashi’s given name, now that he has allowed himself to. And then he looks at Tadashi – and makes a decision.

He gets out of the armchair, then gets down on one knee. If Tadashi, for some impossible reason, wants him–

“I know I am not – not good enough, for you,” he says, quietly, “but if you would be willing to – to have me, flaws and all–” and then he stops himself, because this is not formal, he needs to ask Tadashi’s _parents_ for Tadashi’s hand in marriage, needs to make a good offer first, get gifts worthy of Tadashi, he has to do this right, if he dares to do this at all –

But Tadashi does not let him finish his thoughts, his contemplations.

Instead, he sinks onto the ground in front of Kei – so very unseemingly for the possible future prince consort – and lets his head fall against him, wraps his arms around Kei.

“Yes,” he says, and his voice is still shaking, and so is he, and there are tears wetting Kei’s neck where Tadashi’s face is pressed against it, “yes – I can’t believe that you – Tsukki, _please_.”

He looks up at Kei then, and bares his neck.

Kei’s brain blacks out, for a moment, and he has to forcibly hold himself back from not just biting, _claiming_. He has never had to hold himself back with as much force as he does now – everything in him _screaming_ to take this invitation, to accept, to mark what is _his_.

He closes his eyes and breathes in and out, slowly, a few times, which does not help at all, with Tadashi being this close, releasing more and more of his scent as if his life depends on it.

He opens his eyes again.

“Tadashi,” he says, admonishingly. His voice sounds rough even to his own ears.

“Right, yes, we need to wait, perhaps,” Tadashi says, but he does not change his posture, and everything in the way he holds his body is _begging_ Kei to claim him.

Kei slowly unwraps Tadashi’s arms from around him, brings some distance between them.

“Apologies, Tsukki,” Tadashi says, but he does not look or sound apologetic at all. He looks – elated, breathless and happy, his scent strong and sweet and singing, reaching out for Kei. “I waited so long, I’m sure I can wait a little longer.” He laughs, a little disbelievingly, sounds as if he does not believe that he can wait even a _second_ longer, and Kei can relate to that, he wants –

He cannot believe Tadashi wants him, cannot believe he actually gets to have this. It feels like a dream.

And he is so unworthy of Tadashi, of being his mate, but if Tadashi wants this – if Tadashi will let him – he will try to prove every day from now on that perhaps he can make up for the past, perhaps he can become worthy of Tadashi.

“Perhaps you should go, for now. I want to do this properly,” he tells Tadashi.

Tadashi looks sorrowful at that, but also so, so happy, and they both know Kei will not end up doing this properly if Tadashi stays in his quarters any longer. Not with the way Tadashi looks, flushed and jubilant and all _Kei’s_. Not with the way he _smells_.

“Yes,” Tadashi says, wonder in his voice.

\--

Having to step in front of Tadashi’s parents and ask for their son’s hand in marriage terrifies him already, but first he has to talk to his _own_ parents, announce his plans, get their blessing, and perhaps that feels even more terrifying.

He thinks about how to go about this; he could ask for their blessing during dinner, certainly, but that doesn’t feel right. He has to do this _right_ – Tadashi deserves nothing less. Kei still cannot believe that Tadashi wants him at all; he still feels unworthy of Tadashi, so much so that he almost wants to tell Tadashi to think this over again.

But the look in Tadashi’s eyes – for some reason he truly wants this, wants _Kei_ , and Kei wants him _so much_ , has loved him for _so long_ , that he is not strong enough to deny Tadashi for Tadashi’s sake, not when Tadashi requites his feelings.

So doing this properly, in a way Tadashi deserves, is all he can do.

This is why he asks for a proper audience with his own father and mother.

When he steps before them, his posture impeccable, his best blank expression on his face, they both look confused, his mother even panicked.

“What is it? Why have you requested this audience?” she asks, distress clear in her voice. There are worry lines around her eyes, and her hands are fidgeting. Kei has never gone formally about any of the things he should, perhaps, go formally about, even as the second heir in line to the throne.

The King and Queen are his parents, after all, and his mother is a soft woman, has always let him and Akiteru get away with a lot.

This is the first time he has asked for a proper audience with them, in his entire life.

His father looks much less distressed than his mother; he has always been the calmer one, out of the two of them, with an easy air of confidence around him, his entire demeanour showing that he is an alpha.

Now, he only lays one hand on his wife’s shoulder, and she visibly calms down.

Kei thinks about alleviating her concerns by smiling, perhaps; but he is not one to smile much, and while he does love his parents, they will know soon enough why he has asked for this; he does usually get straight to the point, after all, and intends to do so, now.

“I have found someone I intend to wed,” he tells them, and he can see his mother’s eyes widen, her mouth soften, “and I wanted to ask for your blessing before formally extending a proposal.”

His father looks intrigued and overjoyed; he, as much as everyone else in the castle, probably did not expect Kei to ever show interest in mating on his own. He, much like his wife, expected they would have to near force Kei into a marriage. And Kei cannot fault him for this; he, himself, did not expect anything but a forced mating, after all.

But now, with Tadashi an option – how could he not want to mate right away? How could he wait even a second longer, give someone else the chance to win Tadashi over?

“Who is it? Is she of appropriate social standing? An omega?” His father asks. These are the important questions, after all. Even if Kei will, in all probability, not inherit the throne – the entire kingdom is only waiting for Aiya to announce that she is finally heavy with Akiteru’s child – he is still the _prince_ , and their second child: the only child other than Akiteru they could have married off for political purposes.

He knows his father, at least, has had long-standing plans about who would be an advantageous match for Kei. His mother, however – she has always been soft, and in love with the concept of love.

“Is it the Yamaguchi’s son?” she asks, and Kei and his father both lose their composure for a second.

Kei wants to ask her how she knows, but there is such a look of open softness in her eyes that he thinks she, in all probability, only did what she does best: observe, and form her own conclusions.

“It is,” he says, and his mother smiles at him, warm and openly.

His father considers this, for a moment, and Kei is anxious, suddenly; Tadashi might elevate the respect for Kei that their kingdom holds, but he is of no _political_ advantage to their family – he is only the son of mere commoners, after all.

Then, his father nods. Relief floods Kei.

“I should have known,” the King says, fondly, and Kei wonders if everyone has known that he is in love with Tadashi all along, if it is obvious in his behaviour. He feels foolish and indescribably elated at the same time.

“You need a proper array of proposal gifts,” Kei’s father says, and now Kei is the one nodding. He knows this; knows he cannot do a simple proposal, knows he has to put his best forward, if he wants Tadashi’s parents to think him worthy of their son – which he is not, how _could_ he be? But he will try to be, for Tadashi.

\--

Kei wants to tell Tadashi that he has his own parents’ approval right away, but he also worries about seeing Tadashi again before he has asked for his hand in marriage.

His self-control had barely been enough to hold him back the last time they were together, after all, and he worries that if he were to see Tadashi now, knowing that Tadashi is the man he is going to marry, his strength might not suffice.

And there is nothing honourable about defiling Tadashi before their mating.

\--

Stepping before Tadashi’s parents is the most nerve-wracking thing Kei has ever done.

He is well prepared, of course: he brings a considerable amount of gifts, expensive ones, and he has a title and a comfortable life to offer, and they _know him_. Still, it is terrifying. He wants, needs their approval: he knows Tadashi’s parents are important to him, very much so, and he wants them to think Kei a good choice. _Needs_ them to think him a good choice, or no wedding will be taking place.

(He does not know how they could think that, when he has never proven himself worthy of Tadashi, but he is willing to spend the rest of his life proving to both them and Tadashi that he _can_ be a good mate. The _best_ mate. He is willing to do _everything_ to make Tadashi happy.)

“Little Prince Tsukishima,” Tadashi’s mother greets Kei warmly, when he steps before her and her husband. It is not the proper way to address him, of course, but it is how she has been addressing him ever since he was a little boy, waiting in front of their chambers for Tadashi on his birthdays. It is somewhere between formal and informal – as informal as she dares to be, in all probability. It is a familiar addressal, one that makes him feel warm, now, after all these years.

They are in the Yamaguchi’s bedchambers in the castle, the door wide open, which is where the Yamaguchis have been accepting proposals since the prior evening, in lack of a proper house with the proper rooms for such a thing.

“I have come to ask for your son’s hand in marriage,” Kei says, and sinks down to one knee. He dares not to look at her when he says: “Of course, I come offering gifts.”

There are many gifts he comes offering: garments for Tadashi, made only out of the finest silks. Jewellery, expensive but delicate, just as delicate as Tadashi is. Kei has chosen every single piece himself: has made sure every one of the garments, every piece of jewellery will look stunning on Tadashi, enhancing his beauty, adding to it instead of leading the eyes away from it. There is no need to wrap Tadashi in silks and gold that would take attention _away_ from his face; not when he is the most beautiful thing Kei has ever seen, more beautiful by far than any piece of jewellery could ever be.

He also comes offering books: his personal favourites, well-worn copies from the castle’s library that mean a lot to him, personally. He hopes Tadashi will share his joy in them, once he learns how to read.

And then, of course, he comes offering a horse. A young mare, Starlight, barely three years old, not yet ridden in. She is the most beautiful horse in their kingdom to his knowledge, a gentle, fine-boned beauty, one his mother had wanted for herself. Kei had asked her if she would be willing to part with Starlight, for Tadashi. It is his luck that his mother is a soft woman.

A horse fit for a Queen is just good enough for Tadashi, Kei thinks.

And then there is gold, and smaller trinkets: a whole array of things, some yet to arrive, for he did not have time to plan this.

He has it all laid out before the Yamaguchis, all the while not daring to look up at them, hoping it will be enough.

Finally, he has listed everything. He is still looking at the ground, kneeling.

“Your Majesty, Prince Tsukishima,” Tadashi’s father says. “Stand up.” His voice sounds warm.

Kei does, and only then does he look at Tadashi’s mother and father, and at them, only. (He dares not to look to the left-hand side, where he knows Tadashi is standing, watching.) They are both looking at him fondly.

“The gifts are much appreciated,” Tadashi’s father says. “But much more than that we would love to know why you want to be Tadashi’s mate.”

That is not what Kei expected. And yet, it fits. He has known these people since he was a little boy; he knows how much they care for their only son, how much they love and cherish him.

He thinks about which answer to give; about whether or not to keep his image up, to keep his emotions hidden on the inside, the way he as always done.

Then, he does allow himself a glance to the side, sees Tadashi’s eyes on him, wide and waiting.

“Because I love him,” he says.

“I have loved him for a long time. I have always wanted to be his mate, even when neither of us had presented yet. I know I do not deserve him, but I would like to try. I have spent the last decade getting to know him. I would like to continue doing that for the rest of my life. I do not think I could ever tire of being around Tadashi, of discovering new sides of him.”

It is the most emotional thing he has ever said. He has a moment of nearly regretting opening himself up: his emotions are not for others to witness and dissect. But then he hears a sob, a quiet “ _Tsukki_ ,” and he allows himself to looks over to Tadashi once more, only to find him crying, heavily, his entire face red and swollen, his eyes absolutely _sparkling_.

“Then I believe it is Tadashi’s choice whether or not he wants to marry you. I have no apprehensions,” Tadashi’s father says. His eyes are looking a little wet themselves.

Tadashi’s mother is inconspicuously dabbing a few tears out of the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. Much like Kei’s mother, she has always been a soft woman.

“Yes!” Tadashi near-screams, already barrelling over. He comes to a standstill in front of Kei, looking up at him.

“Yes,” he repeats, more quietly. “Always, _always_ , _Tsukki_.”

“Tadashi,” his mother says admonishingly but softly.

“I know, I know, not very dignified, but _yes_ ,” Tadashi says.

Kei feels breathless, looking at Tadashi, at the way he is _shining_. He cannot believe that he is the cause of this, that Tadashi _wants him_.

“How soon can we marry? I seriously can _not_ wait months,” Tadashi says, still staring up at Kei.

His father chuckles, while his mother repeats, a little scandalised, “ _Tadashi_.”

“Neither can I,” Kei says softly. He wants to kiss Tadashi, more than he has ever wanted anything in his life; wants to bury his face in Tadashi’s scent glands, mark him; wants to bury himself in Tadashi, leave him smelling in a way that is unmistakably taken.

It is taking him every ounce of will-power he possesses to resist leaning down and kissing Tadashi, right here, but he _has_ to wait.

“Let us ask the Queen,” Kei says. “I am sure she would be amenable to help us plan a wedding in short time.”

Tadashi beams. “Yes,” he says. He sways lightly forwards then, staring at Kei’s lips, tipping his head back again, baring his neck. It is so blatant of an invitation that Kei nearly loses himself.

But then Tadashi’s mother is saying, “Tadashi!” again, and it brings them both back to the present, where they are in a room surrounded by people.

Tadashi turns red as a tomato, becoming aware of the inappropriateness of his own actions.

“Perhaps the Prince should ask the Queen alone,” Tadashi’s father suggests. Tadashi bites his lip, looking downwards like a scolded dog, and Kei hates propriety, suddenly: hates that he cannot touch Tadashi, reassure him; that he cannot simply kiss him, here, make this suffering come to an end for the both of them. Instead, he has to wait until they are mated to bestow even the most innocent of touches on him. It is driving him to the brink of insanity.

But he cannot do anything about it, so he will have to do the next best thing: make sure they will not have to wait for long.

“Soon,” he says softly. Tadashi looks up at him again, a small smile on his face, and Kei feels better, knowing he has helped soothe his omega, at least the smallest bit.

_His omega_.

He is not sure that he will ever get used to knowing that Tadashi is his.

\--

The wedding takes place a mere two days later.

It is good that it does: Kei and Tadashi have avoided each other the past two days, as to avoid improper behaviour, and it has possibly been the hardest thing Kei has ever done.

The wedding takes place in the afternoon, the sun painting the streets a beautiful gold.

Kei and Tadashi meet in front of the castle. Tadashi looks breathtaking: clad in blue and green, the colours of purity and young love, wearing a delicate golden necklace with inset emeralds. He shines much more than his jewellery does: his eyes sparkling, his cheeks rosy, his lips curved up in a smile.

Kei feels the nervousness which has held him hostage the past two days leave him at the sight of Tadashi, and he can do nothing more but offer his arm to Tadashi, look at him and feel entirely smitten, as they start their procession to the temple: minstrels playing music before them, Akiteru, Kei’s best man, on horseback behind them, protecting them, as is custom.

It is perhaps not custom to ask one’s brother to be the best man, but there is no one else Kei could have asked for it: no knight or noble he would have trusted as he does his brother.

And so they march to the temple, Tadashi’s hand on Kei’s arm, and Kei feels nervous and excited all at once, and, more than anything else, just entirely at peace, now that he has Tadashi with him again.

They come to a stop in front of the temple, and then the King steps out from behind them. He is their officiant, today, and so it is he who comes to a stand in front of them and looks at them seriously.

He asks them the traditional questions ( _how old art thou_ , _art thou related by blood, doth the bride’s father consent to thy wedding, doth thou consent to the wedding_ ); he knows the answers to them, of course, but it is tradition.

Then, he has Kei offer Tadashi a purse with thirteen gold coins, as is tradition as well. After the wedding ceremony is done and the mating has taken place, Tadashi will distribute them between the poor, to show that he is now in control of his husband’s finances, and to show his good will towards the kingdom.

Tadashi looks at him and smiles, softly, and his eyes are big. Thirteen gold coins is more than he has ever possessed in his life, prior to their betrothal, Kei knows.

This mating will bring many changes with it, for Tadashi. Kei hopes Tadashi still thinks it to be the right choice.

They step to the sides of his father, the King, now: Kei to his right, and Tadashi to the left.

It is time for their vows.

Kei has spent the last two days thinking his vows over, and still feels they are unworthy of Tadashi. He had wanted to do something worthy of Tadashi, showing his love, and still, he could not, not in the knowledge that aristocracy from the entire country will be there to watch – every attendant of the ball having stayed for the wedding after hearing the news, every noble who did not attend the ball travelling, if close enough, to see the wedding.

Therefore instead, he has gone the traditional route, and so now he looks at Tadashi while telling him he will hold and protect him, make sure he is well-cared for, always; will be with him in sickness and health, until death do them part.

It is not sentimental, but there are tears in Tadashi’s eyes either way.

When Tadashi starts speaking, his voice is shaking.

“I have thought about this moment since I was ten years old,” he says, quietly. “I knew back then that I wanted you to be my mate, and now, eight years later, that still holds true. In all those years, I have not managed to come up with vows worthy of you. Still, I want you to know that these words are for you, and you alone.” He looks Kei straight in the eyes, now. His lips are quivering a little. His voice gets louder, then, and less shaky.

“I am yours. I have _always_ been yours. I _will_ always be yours. Being able to stand here today, I know that I am the luckiest person in this kingdom, the luckiest person to exist, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you feel just half as lucky as I do today. My heart, it aches and weeps for you only, and being with you, it feels like I am made of sunshine. You are the Moon to my Stars. Tsukki, promise me to show me the moon, and I will show you the stars, and you can teach me every constellation you know that I do not.”

He quiets, then. Kei can feel his throat constrict. He is glad he does not have to speak, now, because he does not think he could. He wants to do nothing more than to whisk Tadashi away, to his bedchambers, to shower him in kisses, but he cannot.

Instead, he takes the ring for Tadashi, steps in front of Tadashi. “With this ring, I wed thee,” Kei says, as he slips the ring onto Tadashi’s finger: a simple gold band, two diamonds embedded in it.

He has decided against a more lavish, clunky one, knowing that it would not be in Tadashi’s taste. The way Tadashi’s eyes light up, now, at the ring, tells him it was the right choice.

It fills him with joy; he is elated to have made the right choice, seeing as Tadashi will wear this ring for the rest of his life.

Then, it is Tadashi’s turn.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” he says, his voice shaking, as he slips a gold band onto Kei’s ring finger: an even simpler one, without any diamonds on it.

Kei does not look at his ring or anything else; he only has eyes for Tadashi, his husband, and so he nearly misses when the temple doors open, and the King urges them to step inside.

He rips his eyes away from Tadashi, and they do so, ultimately coming to stand in front of the altar where they both kneel down. The King looks down at them, then. Kei thinks he can see a tear in his father’s eye; he probably can. His father does not act it, but he is a sentimental man. He did cry during Akiteru’s wedding ceremony, too.

A canopy is lifted over Kei’s and Tadashi’s heads by the attendees, and then the King says his prayers.

Kei knows he should pay attention, but Tadashi is right next to him, so close, and he smells heavenly, and he is wearing Kei’s ring. Come daybreak, he will be wearing Kei’s _mark_.

It is hard to pay attention under these circumstances. Nevertheless, Kei makes a valiant effort.

Effort has to be enough.

After his father has said his prayers, the canopy is removed, and Kei’s father urges them to stand, again.

“You may now bestow a kiss upon your omega,” he tells Kei, finally, _finally_ , and so Kei does.

For the first time in his life, he leans in, and kisses Tadashi. Only on the forehead: anything more would be a scandal; but touching Tadashi’s forehead with his lips alone is nearly more than Kei can handle.

Still, he wants to touch him, tug him closer, kiss him _properly_.

Instead, he steps back and lets the King bless their union. _Soon_.

\--

They leave the temple, husbands in the eyes of the Gods, alpha and omega, Tadashi’s hand on Kei’s arm, the minstrels before them, playing their instruments, Akiteru and their parents and the witnesses to their wedding behind them, the sun shining still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, the story is not yet finished:
> 
> I have decided to split the last chapter after all, so this has been chapter four out of five.  
> There will also be a small epilogue - I probably will be doing a double upload next Wednesday, of both the last chapter and epilogue, because they are both rather short.
> 
> Notes for this chapter:
> 
> The wedding is modelled after a 14th Century Christian Medieval wedding ceremony, since I vaguely set this story in 14th Century Europe; I changed things up a tiny bit, though, because I didn’t want the wedding in this story to _actually_ be Christian, so note that it is not taking place in a Church, for example, and the wedding officiant is the King himself, not a priest, as well as a myriad of other small changes.
> 
> I’ve also taken the liberty to have Tadashi speak weddings vows as well as Kei, even though the ‘brides’ stayed silent during Medieval Weddings, and to have Kei wear a wedding ring, even though only the brides wore wedding rings up until the 16th Century. There are several more liberties you will find in this chapter, including but not limited to me not going for a several days long wedding (for royalty, at least six days of festivities would have been the norm), and having the wedding itself happen only a few days after the proposal (which would not have happened for royalty). I also invented a few of my own wedding customs/modified some wedding customs to fit this abo-verse. :D
> 
> I hope this did not hinder your enjoyment of the chapter, and you still had fun reading it :D
> 
> As always, comments would absolutely make my day. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back again, with this new chapter _and_ the epilogue all at once!  
> Two chapters for the price of one, my loves!
> 
> Little warning: you may have seen that the riting on this fic has gone up. That's because the majority of this chapter is, indeed, smut.  
> It's my first time writing abo smut - Kuni, I tried to write this to your wishes, I _hope_ you will enjoy it somewhat, I tried my best :')
> 
> If you guys are not comfortable with smut, you can very well skip this chapter and only read the epilogue, there are some non-smutty dialogue parts to this chapter, but the fic is surely enjoyable and readable without them. :D
> 
> (And, another small warning, I basically went with the concept of omegas having female reproductive organs as well as male reproductive organs, so if that is not your jam, also feel free to skip this chapter.)
> 
> Well then, enough of me talking, I hope you enjoy this! <3

The procession back to the castle is nearly unbearable.

Kei knows he just has to be patient; as soon as they reach the castle, he can whisk Tadashi away to their new bedchambers. _Theirs_ , now that they are wed: a whole wing of the castle has been gifted to them as part of their wedding gifts, courtesy of Kei’s parents, as has a sizeable amount of expensive books, and a small residence in the countryside.

Kei is looking forwards to perhaps spending his honeymoon with Tadashi in said residence; he has once been there as a child: it is peaceful and quiet, qualities he much enjoys.

The honeymoon will only begin in two days, however: for the rest of this night, Tadashi is Kei’s, and they are to be left alone to fulfil their mating, but on the morrow, there will be lavish feasts thrown by Kei’s parents, attended by everyone who has been invited to the wedding.

It is the custom, to not feast on the day of the wedding, so the young couple can mate in peace, only then to have a feast all the bigger on the day after.

The reasoning behind this tradition is to see the young couple be properly nourished after the strenuous activities of the previous night, so that they may resume their lovemaking in the night after with renewed energy and soon see one of them swell with a child; but in all actuality, it is a tradition used so that the family of the groom, the family hosting the wedding, can show off their riches.

Kei is not looking forwards to it.

He is, however, looking forwards to spending the night with Tadashi.

To finally _touching_ Tadashi.

His lips still tingle with the kiss he was allowed to place on Tadashi’s forehead, and his arm with the weight of Tadashi’s hand on it.

He cannot even imagine what it will be like to see Tadashi all spread out before him, _for_ him.

He cannot wait to see it.

They enter the castle by nightfall, the sun just disappearing from the sky, a last patch of gold and orange painting the landscape, before it is to be overtaken by the dark shadows of the night.

Kei does not have eyes for the sunset: he only has eyes for Tadashi.

Tadashi, who he leads up to their new wing in the castle now, up to their new bedchambers.

Tadashi looks nervous and excited all at once, next to him. He is gorgeous, with the ring on his finger binding him to Kei; he will be even more gorgeous, once his neck is adorned by a mating mark.

Kei still cannot believe he gets to have this: gets to have _him_.

It seems incredible, _impossible_ , almost.

They stand in front of the doors to their new bedchamber, and Kei almost dares not to open it. He wants to push it open, wants to drag Tadashi inside, but he also wants go give Tadashi and himself another moment to breathe, to _prepare_.

Tadashi does not seem to share this sentiment, this hesitation.

Energetically, he pushes the door open and strides inside.

“Come _on_ , Tsukki,” he whines, and that is all that Kei needs before he is on him.

He has resisted Tadashi for so long, has resisted his _instincts_ for so long, he can resist no more.

He does not spare an ear to hear the door fall shut behind them, does not pay attention to the gorgeous room that is theirs now, one of the most glamorous in the castle; he only has eyes for Tadashi: Tadashi, his husband, his _omega_ , who he now pushes himself up against.

“Tadashi,” he says, taking his face in his hands, and he looks at him for one more second, and then he leans down to finally, _finally_ kiss him and his eyes fall shut.

Kissing Tadashi is unlike anything he has ever experienced before, unlike anything he could have dreamed of; Tadashi’s lips are soft, and warm, and he tastes like honey. Simply having him this close, the feeling of his lips against Kei’s, is fanning the flames in Kei’s stomach, making him _burn_.

Tadashi is releasing his scent again, smelling so unbearably sweet, letting it speak to every single one of Kei’s alpha instincts. It spreads in Kei the intense need to bury his face in Tadashi’s neck, and so he does. He just inhales the scent there, for a moment, and then he kisses and licks at the skin, _tasting_ his mate, and Tadashi whimpers.

“Kei, Kei _please_ ,” he whines, and Kei can do nothing but oblige, bites down; not hard enough to form a claiming mark – not yet – but hard nevertheless. Tadashi _keens_ and trashes against him, and Kei suddenly cannot go a second longer without having him naked.

He rips Tadashi’s dress off of him – a hasty decision he might come to regret on the coming morning, seeing as it was a lovely and expensive garment which will now have to be repaired, but one he cannot regret in this moment, his need to see Tadashi stripped of his clothes outweighing all sense of rationality.

It makes Tadashi whimper again and release even more of his sweet scent.

Kei basks in it, basks even more in Tadashi’s naked form before him: Tadashi is _glorious_ , all smooth, pale skin, dotted with millions of freckles and moles. Kei wants to lick and memorise every single one of them.

For now, he walks Tadashi backwards, until they reach their massive marital bed, onto which he pushes Tadashi. Tadashi falls down onto his back and stares up at Kei, his eyes wide.

“Tsukki,” he says again, and then he tips his head back once more and bares his neck in blatant invitation, and this time Kei does not resist the urge, but climbs back on top of him in an instant, burying his face back in Tadashi’s neck, lavishing it with little bites and kisses.

He can feel Tadashi beneath him, whose cock is hard and opening wet, rutting up against Kei helplessly, little moans leaving his mouth while Kei leaves love bites on his neck. Tadashi is going to look _wrecked_ in the morning.

 _Good_ , Kei thinks viciously; he wants everyone to know that Tadashi is his, wants to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that Tadashi is _satisfied_ , that he is _content_ to be Kei’s, that Kei gets to touch him in a way _nobody else_ does.

Tadashi’s hands come up to Kei’s chest, now, undoing the buttons of his shirt with trembling fingers, and Kei sighs against Tadashi’s neck and moves back, a little, just so he can take off his own clothes, with a hurry that would leave him embarrassed in front of anyone else, but this is Tadashi, _Tadashi_ , and he looks flushed and happy and like he’s all Kei’s, and how could Kei ever feel embarrassed in front of this beautiful man, his _husband_?

As soon as he’s gotten rid of his trousers, Tadashi reaches out for him again, tugging Kei back on top of him, and _oh_.

Feeling Tadashi’s naked skin against his skin is _heavenly_. Kei’s mind goes blank, for a second, and then his hands are on Tadashi’s hips, stroking up his sides, his right hand coming up to Tadashi’s right nipple, stroking it softly, and Tadashi moans prettily.

Kei is so, so painfully hard.

He rubs the nipple between his fingers, and Tadashi moans even loader, arches half off the bed, pressing his nipple more firmly into Kei’s hand and his hard, leaking cock against Kei’s stomach.

Kei cannot help it, cannot help but to wander lower with his other hand, bypassing Tadashi’s erection, until he finds where Tadashi is wet and open, leaking for Kei.

Experimentally, he slips his forefinger between the soft folds and then comes up to press it softly against Tadashi’s clitoris, and Tadashi nearly screams as he arches into the touch.

Kei is sure half of the castle can hear him; he _wants_ them to hear him: how much Tadashi is enjoying himself, because of _Kei_.

“Tsukki, please,” Tadashi whimpers, as Kei starts rubbing his clitoris softly, his other hand still playing with his nipple. “Please, _please_.”

He slips one finger inside Tadashi, and Tadashi presses into the touch, as if to ask for more, starts moving his hips, fucking himself slowly on the finger. He is whimpering.

Kei lets his middle finger slip inside, then, too, starts fucking his fingers in and out himself, his thumb pressed against Tadashi’s clitoris, Tadashi rocking into him, whining loudly.

“I need _you_ inside me, please, _Kei_ ,” Tadashi whimpers, and Kei stops breathing for a second, before he presses down, hard, while he bites into Tadashi’s neck. Tadashi trashes against him.

It is the first time Tadashi has used Kei’s given name, and Kei did not know it would have such an effect on him, but suddenly, he wants nothing more than to be inside Tadashi, to claim him, _mark_ him, with his scent and his bite mark and his cum.

He wants Tadashi to swell with his _child_.

“I am going to mark you,” Kei growls against him, “I am going to fill you, again and again, until you smell like me, until you are pregnant, until the whole kingdom can see who you belong to.” And something in his mind tells him that nothing he is saying is rational, but Kei does not _feel_ rational, is letting his instincts guide him, and his instincts are telling him to _claim_ Tadashi.

“Yes, yes, _please_ ,” Tadashi whimpers, and then Kei uses the hand that was fucking Tadashi, before, to slick up his cock, to slowly guide it inside Tadashi.

They both moan in unison when the head of Kei’s cock slips inside, and then Tadashi angles himself, presses himself up against Kei, so that the rest of Kei’s cock pushes inside, and now it is Kei whimpering.

Tadashi feels so tight and wet and _glorious_ around Kei, and he is almost afraid he is going to release right then and there. Tadashi is moaning beneath him, making pretty little noises that Kei wants to _eat up_ ; it is entirely too much, and not enough all at once.

He closes his eyes, for a moment, breathes in and out slowly, until he has come back from the edge.

When he opens them again, he moans at the sight before him: Tadashi, spread out underneath him, flushed and panting, his hair mussed up, his eyes glassy and mouth open, his neck covered in deep purple bitemarks. He looks _incredible_.

“Kei,” Tadashi breathes, _pleads_.

Kei buries his face in Tadashi’s neck again and starts moving, them, thrusting into Tadashi slowly. Tadashi whines, and his legs come up to lock around Kei. He rocks into him.

“Kei, more, _please_ ,” he whimpers, and Kei can do nothing but oblige, nothing but fuck him, fast and hard, Tadashi whimpering beneath him, releasing breathy little moans, helplessly rocking up into the touch, a litany of Kei’s name and ‘ _more’_ leaving his pretty lips.

And Kei gives him more, until he can feel his stomach coiling, his knot swelling; he presses a hand, down, between them, then, to rub Tadashi’s clitoris in time with his thrusts; they are shallower, now, because of his swelling knot.

Tadashi whimpers, releases even more of his sweet scent, throws his head back and bares his neck again, and this time Kei takes the invitation and _finally_ bites down properly: buries his face in Tadashi’s neck and _bites,_ truly bites, his teeth piercing Tadashi’s skin, deep, leaving the bond-mark, and Tadashi _screams_ and tightens around him, cumming, clenching around Kei, his cock spurting cum onto his stomach, his legs firmly locking Kei into place as if Kei could escape, now, with his knot tying them together.

Kei feels his own orgasm washing over him in a white haze, and he goes limp on top of Tadashi for a second, before he remembers that he is _heavy_ , and this cannot be comfortable for Tadashi, and pushes up on his forearms.

He looks down at Tadashi. All tension has gone out of him: he lies sated beneath Kei, a happy smile on his face, his eyes shining, his neck painted purple, his stomach painted white.

“Kei,” he says, voice small, wonderingly, and reaches out with a hand: his left one, the one adorned with the wedding ring. He touches Kei’s cheek, softly, and Kei leans into the touch.

“Tadashi,” he says, just as soft.

“I can’t believe you’re actually mine,” Tadashi says. “Mine. I get to keep you.”

“Yours, and yours only,” Kei says.

Tadashi starts crying, then: big, wet tears sliding down his face.

Kei does not know what to do with it; he wants to reach out and touch Tadashi, soothe him, but he is still using his arms to push himself up, to not fall down on top of Tadashi.

Slowly, he lets himself sink down, and then rolls them so they’re laying on their sides, facing each other.

Then, he reaches out, cups Tadashi’s face in his hands.

“Tadashi, what is wrong?” he asks, worriedly.

“I apologise, Tsukki,” Tadashi says, his voice wet. “Just – I didn’t think I would get this. Even when you asked for my hand, this seemed to good to be true, and now we are mated, actually mated, and Tsukki. _Tsukki_. How can I ever be good enough for you?”

Kei looks at Tadashi, shocked.

“ _Baby_ ,” he says, with feeling. He has never been good at showing his feelings, but he cannot do anything else _but_ to show them, now. “Sweetheart. Angel. You already are. Tadashi, you _are_. It is I who does not deserve you. Tadashi. Tadashi, _look at me_.”

Tadashi does, then: looks up at Kei with big, wet eyes, tears and snot covering his face.

“Tadashi, you are perfect. To me, you are. You always have been. I could want nothing more than you. I have never wanted anyone else but you. I do not know how many times I have to repeat this, and you know I am not good at being honest about my emotions, but I will tell you as many times as I need to: I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tadashi says, quietly, softly. “So incredibly much. Shouyou, the stable boy, he must have gone insane, with how often I talked about you.” He laughs wetly.

Kei looks at Tadashi. He has not talked about Tadashi, to anyone; Tadashi is too important to him. Other than to Tadashi, Kei does not, does _never_ talk about the things and people he holds dear. And Tadashi is who he holds dearest in this life, after all.

“Baby,” he says again, and leans in to kiss Tadashi once more.

\--

Morning breaks softly, quietly, painting their bedchambers a soft pink and vibrant orange, the sun slowly rising to bless the kingdom with yet another day.

Kei rises with it: awakes in a new bed, a new room. He is not yet used to this room and its scents; he is not yet used to the man wrapped around him, his head on Kei’s naked chest, drooling all over him, his sweet scent filling up their room.

Kei looks at Tadashi, Tadashi, who, miracle of all miracles, is Kei’s _mate_ , and knows that not his social status, not the wealth he was born into, make him a lucky man, but this boy right here, sleeping soundly, trusting Kei to take care of him, to protect him.

This boy, who is now part of this scenery that will become Kei’s new normalcy.

He cannot wait, for this day and every one that follows.

Cannot wait, and does not have to, because his future is right now: with Tadashi by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, and don't stop reading here, the (rather short) Epilogue awaits you :p


	6. Epilogue: Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, my loves! The last chapter, well, epilogue of my fic <3

_To Your Majesty Kei of the Tsukishima Family, Tetsurou, former son of the Kuroo family._

_I hope this letter finds you in good health. Indeed I wish good health and fortune for you in the future, that you may see your mate and family flourish._

_I trust you have heard of my hasty departure from my family residence. Not my most dignified action, perhaps, but one of the better decisions I have made in my life._

_And, if I dare take permission to speak freely: bonding secretly with a beta blacksmith did not leave me much choice in how to proceed, other than said hasty departure._

_It is my fault, you might say, but it is a fault I will carry with honour. (As much honour as there is in fleeing your family over night to be with the one you love. I, personally, find it to be honourable, and if not honourable, then an act of true romance. Kenma finds my penchant to brag about it and him distasteful. Still, I know he loves me.)_

_I find in you someone I trust to understand me; after all, you know what it is like to be in love with someone below your social standing, only that Fate gave you the chance it was not willing to bestow upon me._

_I find joy for you, in the life you are able to live._

_I have become recipient of the news that Tadashi is pregnant with your third child, now; I trust that you will send him my well-wishes._

_Perhaps, one day, the world will not look at my union with Kenma as lesser than, and then we can meet again, in much better circumstances. Until then, I trust that you are elated by the life given to you, by the mate you get to spend your life with, and I am elated by mine: not by the life given to me, but the choices I have made to lead me to the life I live now._

_Not honourable in my parents’ eyes, perhaps, but one I am grateful to live nevertheless, for I have Kenma by my side, and I could not ask for more._

_I do not write to you to ask anything of you (although if you could bless my mating with Kenma, make us outcasts no more, I would enjoy that tremendously. Kenma will not be pleased to find I even mentioned this to you, and indeed if you do not want to bless us, I will not hold it against you)._

_I do write to you to find a friend in you, perhaps, a person willing to correspond with us, when so much of the world has forsaken our company._

_Fare well and may you continue to be in good health and good spirits,_

_By your acquaintance and hopeful friend,_

_Tetsurou_

_To your Majesty Kei of the Tsukishima Family, Tetsurou of the Kuroo family_

_I hope this letter finds you well. Good wishes to you and those around you, that you may be the recipients of good fortune in the years to come._

_I am certain you have heard that Kenma and I have taken up residence in the family home again, in no small part courtesy of your blessing._

_For this, I shall always be grateful. Kenma extends his gratitude to you as well._

_I have missed my family, and am glad to be reunited with them; more than that, I am jubilant that Kenma will get to bear our first child here, surrounded by some of the best medicine our kingdom has to offer and in company of the trusted family midwife._

_I have heard that the birth of your third child went well, and that the twins and him get along splendidly. I am glad to know it, and do wish you and your family only the best, for that the future may bring your children happiness and health._

_I do not wish to participate in gossip, yet the news have reached me that Tobio of the Kageyama family has been found with the acquaintance of your mate, the stable boy. If this is indeed true, and in case you know about his whereabouts, please extend my well-wishes to him, for I was in his place by this time last year._

_Perhaps, and I do hope you do not find me insulting to voice this, it is time to think about new decree, to allow people to mate outside their social standing._

_Still, what would I know – I am but a lowly Lord, jubilant to have mated for love._

_The foremost reason I am writing this letter to you is the following:_

_I extend an invitation to you and your mate, to join me and my family for the celebration of my and Kenma’s proper wedding. It is set to take place on the third of June at my parents’ residence._

_I would be overjoyed if you and your mate could attend, but I would, of course, be understanding if you were to find yourself busy; I am aware you have many responsibilities to tend to._

_Nevertheless, I shall extend this invitation, in the hopes of seeing you and being able to extend my most sincere gratitude to you in person._

_May you continue to be in good health and good spirits,_

_By your friend,_

_Tetsurou of the Kuroo family_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this journey along with me! I had much fun with this fic, and once again my dearest thanks to Kuni for allowing me to write this!! <3
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, I would be overjoyed if you could leave me a comment. <3
> 
> You can find me on twitter @ shiwiwrites (where I scream about Haikyuu and writing) :)


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